Bring it to the Light Understanding Sexual Abuse Recovery as Ministry Leaders Rev. Heather Wright & Nicole Zasowski Greenwich Center for Hope and Renewal

If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,     and the light about me be night,” 12 even the darkness is not dark to you;     the night is bright as the day,     for darkness is as light with you. Psalm 139:11-12

Define 2 Samuel 13 Definition: Sexual abuse occurs whenever a person – child or adult – is sexually exploited by an older or more powerful person for the satisfaction of the abuser’s needs. Interaction can be visual, verbal, psychological Very severe, severe, less severe But all abuse is abuse and is damaging

Statistics 1 in 5 girls and 1 in 20 boys is the victim of child sexual abuse During a one-year period in the U.S., 16% of youth ages 14 to 17 had been sexually victimized Over the course of their lifetime, 28% of U.S. youth ages 14 to 17 had been sexually victimized. (David Finkelhor, Director of Crimes Against Children Research Center)

Statistics 1 in 3 females and males have been sexually abused in very severe or severe ways. 52% women have been sexually abused by the age of 18, including all three levels of sexual abuse and exhibitionism. (Dan Allender, Wounded Heart)

The impact on an abuse survivor Their Experience Myths they believe Symptoms include triggers, flashbacks, nightmares and dissociation The Evil one wants to: destroy our perspective of a Loving God destroy our passion for living for God destroy our potential for serving God

The impact on a victim Impact of abuse Outcomes: Survival strategies Powerless Betrayal Ambivalence – Shame Outcomes: Survival strategies

Pain Cycle Pain Cycle Peace Cycle We all have a pain cycle – feelings we experience when we are in pain and ways of coping with that pain in order to protect ourselves. Peace Cycle Help people get to the truth about the feelings that they feel in a way that empowers them to make constructive choices moving forward.

Components of Healing  Need to tell the story, bring it to the light with safe people Understand the truth about themselves. The degree to which they are able to accept the good news of Christ’s message is directly related to the degree to which they are able to change their relationship with themselves. Integrate the story in ways that are not self-condemning Survivors have choices Forgiveness and healing take a long time – patience is required

Components of Healing Forgiveness – 4 stations of forgiveness Insight Understanding Giving the Opportunity for Compensation Overt Forgiveness

What is my role as a minister? Preaching – crucial role, admit the problem exists and causes damage Be careful about touch You are doing your job well if people feel you are safe enough to share this deep, shameful part of the past – affirm their courage Be willing to witness great pain

What is my role as a minister? Help the survivor get professional help. Find others to form a support network for this person Other issues may have resulted from this past abuse, drug, alcohol, suicidal thoughts Beware of the tendency to rush in with words of hope and peace, instead listen

What is my role as a minister? Protect yourself We are in a spiritual battle, ask God to equip you for the fight and intercede Find joy in being part of God’s restoration of his children

What not to do: Don’t… Think it doesn’t happen in the church, pastor’s homes, the upstanding citizens’ home. Minimize the abuse –all sexual abuse is a violation of God’s law. Imply the survivor is to blame for the abuse or excuse the abuser. Don’t react with visible shock, horror or disgust. Don’t be afraid of anger and grief.

General suggestions: Write notes of encouragement. Reach out to someone who is suffering, often they cannot take the initiative. Include the survivor in fun things. Intercede faithfully. Much of the battle is fought in this arena. Know you don’t have all the answers. Take care of yourself. Sexual abuse and violence are evil. We are finite. Know your limits and have a support network. Seek Christ – the only source of life. Nurture your relationship to him as the only one who can confront evil and death victoriously.

Resources Books: On the Threshold of Hope, Diane Langberg Wounded Heart, Dan Allender Helping Victims of Sexual Abuse, Lynn Heitritter & Jeanette Vought Websites: http://www.d2l.org Darkness to Light www.rainn.org - Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network

22 O Lord, you know all about this. Do not stay silent 22 O Lord, you know all about this.     Do not stay silent.     Do not abandon me now, O Lord. 23 Wake up! Rise to my defense!     Take up my case, my God and my Lord. 24 Declare me not guilty, O Lord my God, for you give justice.     Don’t let my enemies laugh about me in my troubles. 25 Don’t let them say, “Look, we got what we wanted!     Now we will eat him alive!” 26 May those who rejoice at my troubles     be humiliated and disgraced. May those who triumph over me     be covered with shame and dishonor. 27 But give great joy to those who came to my defense.     Let them continually say, “Great is the Lord,     who delights in blessing his servant with peace!” Psalm 35:22-27 (NLT)