Mindful Self-Compassion Practices: Well-being is a Skill #1: Self-Kindness vs. Self-Judgment #2: Common Humanity vs. Isolation #3: Mindfulness vs. Over-identification

THE EMOTIONAL LIFE OF THE BRAIN: Balance for the Brain’s Chemistry

Kristin Neff: University of Texas at Austin The documentary “The Horse Boy” http://self-compassion.org/videos/

What is compassion? 1) An AWARENESS OF ANOTHER PERSON’S SUFFERING (Cognitive) 2) An emotion that arises when confronted with suffering (Affective: Bonding Hormone - Oxytocin) 3) Being MOVED to alleviate that Suffering (Drive System in Brain - Dopamine)

#1 Self-Kindness vs. Self-Judgment MENTAL TRIGGERS CAN activate the Brain’s Soothing System to balance the other two systems: 1) Drive System and 2) Threat System POWER of the Brain’s Ability to IMAGINE

#1 Self-Kindness vs. Self-Judgment POWER of the Brain’s Ability to IMAGINE Memories about the past  = SADNESS, SHAME, REGRET OR ………….. Ruminating or Reliving a conversation OR…… Engaging in self-criticism (not good enough) =  SHAME, SELF-LOATHING, HOPELESSNESS

Loving-Kindness for One Self In her 2007 book The How of Happiness, Sonja Lyubomirsky elaborates, describing happiness as “the experience of joy, contentment, or positive well-being, combined with a sense that one’s life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile.”

FIRST COMPONENT of LIVING A HAPPY LIFE 1. (POSITIVE EMOTIONS) the experience of joy, contentment, or positive well-being (Gratitude Practices)

SECOND COMPONENT of LIVING A HAPPY LIFE 2. (SATISFIED WITH LIFE) a sense that one’s life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile Economic Growth does not correlate to Well-Being unless basic needs are not met (10% Life Circumstances)

Self-Compassion is not Self-Esteem Self-Compassion is about cultivating a relationship with yourself by using practices that develop and maintaining emotional balance & self-regulation

Self-Compassion is not Self-Esteem Self-Esteem research shows the elevated sense of specialness/exceptionalism: Emotional ups and downs based on perceived success and abilities;

Self-Compassion is not Self-Esteem In the mood swings there is a flood of dopamine (“I am invincible; We are the best;”) then a flood of adrenaline and cortisol (“I am not good enough; this team is awful”) Blaming and/or objectifying others (Envy Up or Scorn Down – Susan Fiske)

Self-Compassion Practices: Well-being is a Skill #1: Self-Kindness vs. Self-Judgment #2: Common Humanity vs. Isolation #3: Mindfulness vs. Over-identification

Mindfulness IS being in the PRESENT!

OVER-IDENTIFICATION WITH MENTAL EVENTS The mind’s ability to be in the past and in the future is what keeps us from being PRESENT INFORMATION from the senses IS real: we see and hear an oncoming bus MENTAL EXPERIENCEs Are not real, they are constructions of reality: WE CREATE THEM THROUGH OUR…. Thoughts, Beliefs, Images, Daydreaming, Judgements, Predictions, Rules, Evaluations that can trigger our threat system (Adrenaline & Cortisol)

We get STUCK in habitual patterns of thinking about ourselves, others, and the world in a specific way. This is the cause of suffering because we are stuck in our thoughts about….

HOW CAN WE CULTIVATE COMPASSION FOR SELF AND OTHERS HOW CAN WE CULTIVATE COMPASSION FOR SELF AND OTHERS? PRACTICES TO REDUCE SOCIAL ANXIETY & ANTICIPATORY ANXIETY

STANFORD’S DEVELOPMENTAL STEPS STEP 1: Focused attention through mindfulness practices STEP 2: Loving-kindness & compassion for a loved one: - “May you be happy and free from suffering.” STEP 3: Loving-Kindness for oneself - “May I be happy.”

STEP 4: Compassion for One Self - “May I be free from Suffering” STEP 5: Compassion for Others – Developing and awareness of common humanity. - “Just like me you want to be happy & free from suffering.”

1. WORK TOGETHER TO MAKE EACH SCHOOL & FAMILY CULTURE INCLUSIVE 2 1. WORK TOGETHER TO MAKE EACH SCHOOL & FAMILY CULTURE INCLUSIVE 2. DEVELOP OUR OWN PRACTICES OF MINDFULNESS AND SELF-COMPASSION

RESOURCES TO BETTER UNDERSTAND THE EMOTIONAL LIFE OF YOUR BRAIN OTHER RESOURCES – Test how self-compassionate you are: http://self-compassion.org/test-how- self-compassionate-you-are/ Test for the Emotional Style of your Brain Online Survey at U of Wisconsin-Madison: https://uwmadison.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_3I8Lg9l4CSnsmjj  TED TALKS The Emotional Life of Your Brain – Richie Davidson https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GnwhoVR4fCw Science of happiness: Dan Gilbert https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4q1dgn_C0AU 9 Attitudes of Mindfulness https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2n7FOBFMvXg

QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS Christelle.Estrada@schools.Utah.gov