Friday, September 28 Revising Content Writing Process Map

Diagnose the Content: 1. How successfully does the draft's content achieve the key rhetorical goals for the paper type and section?key rhetorical goals 2. How successfully does the draft's content meet the needs, expectations, and values of primary and secondary audiences as well as target populations for the research? 3. To what extent is the draft's content accurate and comprehensive in covering the research field? 4. How clearly are the writer's ideas expressed? 5. How well developed are the writer's ideas? 6. To what extent is the content conceptually unified within and across sections of the paper? 7. How convincing are the writer's arguments? Add effective discussion Tanaka? Courneya?

Diagnose the Content: Student Draft 1. How successfully does the draft's content achieve the key rhetorical goals for the paper type and section?key rhetorical goals 2. How successfully does the draft's content meet the needs, expectations, and values of primary and secondary audiences as well as target populations for the research? 3. To what extent is the draft's content accurate and comprehensive in covering the research field? 4. How clearly are the writer's ideas expressed? 5. How well developed are the writer's ideas? 6. To what extent is the content conceptually unified within and across sections of the paper? 7. How convincing are the writer's arguments? A study on the effects of carbohydrate-restricted diets on exercise in obese persons is necessary for assessing the value of low carbohydrate restricted diets. Exercise is associated with proven health benefits, such as improved cardiovascular health, improved utilization of fatty acids, and increased insulin sensitivity, which are all important for obese individuals who are at greater risk of heart disease and diabetes (5). But, if the mechanisms that cause weight loss in low carbohydrate diets impede exercise or even make exercise a potentially dangerous activity, then the value of such diets would need to be reevaluated. Present research provides a very unclear idea of how studies on obesity and exercise would turn out. Helge's (4) study on untrained individuals indicated that a high fat diet would not be as effective as a high carbohydrate diet at improving endurance performance. Though performance may be a measure of diet and exercise success, it isn't necessarily important to the issue of weight loss in obese individuals. If the diet and exercise regime reduced overall body fat composition and decreased disease risk factors then such a diet might be of some value. Helge's (4) study showed that subjects on a high fat diet had significantly lower insulin levels than those on the carbohydrate based diet. Subjects on the high fat diets also had higher free fatty acid profiles (4). Depending on the interpretation this could be seen as a positive or detriment to the high fat diets. Some interpret higher free fatty acids as a risk factor. Others see it as a result of increased fatty acid metabolism. Lambert's study involved cyclists on the more standard high fat diets. With highly trained athletes and a diet that conformed more to the standard high fat diet, Lambert found improved endurance among the cyclists on the high fat diet, further encouraging the idea that the high fat diet could potentially improve exercise capacity in obese individuals (6). Because Lambert used trained individuals, the value to exercise among the obese is limited. Highly trained individuals not only have superior basal metabolic rates but they metabolize fats better as well (5).

Diagnose the Content: Student Draft 1. How successfully does the draft's content achieve the key rhetorical goals for the paper type and section?key rhetorical goals 2. How successfully does the draft's content meet the needs, expectations, and values of primary and secondary audiences as well as target populations for the research? 3. To what extent is the draft's content accurate and comprehensive in covering the research field? 4. How clearly are the writer's ideas expressed? 5. How well developed are the writer's ideas? 6. To what extent is the content conceptually unified within and across sections of the paper? 7. How convincing are the writer's arguments? One limitation to our study is that women were not used as subjects. The main reason that women were not used is the fact that women tend to have a higher body fat percentage than men. Along with a higher body fat percentage, the distribution of fat between men and women is different. Men usually accumulate fat in the abdominal region while women accumulate fat in the gluteal-femoral region. Blaak (2001) discusses the theory that adipose tissue free fatty acids release in higher amounts in upper body fat rather than lower body fat in both men and women. With a higher percent of fat located in the gluteal-femoral region for women, women have less of chance to lose weight when taking this theory into mind. Blaak (2001) also discusses the fact that lower basal fat oxidation may contribute to an increase in fat storage in women. If lower basal fat oxidation contributes to an increase in fat storage for women, then if women were used the results would most likely be affected. To fix this limitation, the study could be performed in all the same ways as in accordance with the methods but instead separate women and men thus performing two different tests, one on a group of women on the low-carbohydrate diet and one on a group of men on the low-carbohydrate diet. For this experiment to work, two groups, one of women and the other of men, must be used as the control thus placing them on the conventional diet. If performed properly, comparable results should occur for the men, as happened in our study, but for women, the results would most likely vary when compared to men.