Bullying, 4 Agreements, & the YWLA Way High School Advisory October 2017

What am I learning today? To recognize situations that involve bullying. To build awareness about the negative consequences for the bully and the one being bullied. To learn about and implement the 4 Agreements in my life to enhance my authenticity and lessen the chance of me being a bully or someone that participates in bullying.

Let’s Brainstorm – Is a student being harmed? You are in the café when you see Erica walking in with a full tray of food. It’s busy in the café and there aren’t many free chairs left. She starts moving toward a table full of chatting girls. There is a backpack on the only open chair. You see that when Erica asks if the chair is free, the other girls keep chatting and ignore her. Every day during a free period, Justine, who is one of the quieter students in school, goes to the gym and practices a dance routine. Over the course of several days, a couple of girls follow Justine and secretly take videos of her dancing. They send messages to you and other students with links to the videos online. The messages include unkind comments about Justine’s dancing.

4 Agreements Let’s explore how embracing these statements and implementing them in your life can decrease the chance of you being a bully or being bullied.

Be Impeccable With Your Word When you are impeccable, you take responsibility for your actions, but you do not judge or blame yourself. When you’re impeccable, you don’t use your words against yourself indulging in guilt or shame. You also don’t use your words against others in blaming, criticizing, or gossiping. Finally, you honor your commitments and only make commitments that you intend to follow through on.

Don’t Take Anything Personally Example – Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally….if someone sees you on the street and says, “hey, you are so ugly” without knowing you, it’s not about you; it’s about them. It you take it personally, then perhaps you believe you are ugly. Maybe you think to yourself, “how does she know? Is she clairvoyant, or can everyone see how ugly I am?” Reminder – Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves.

Don’t Make Assumptions We have the tendency to make assumptions about everything. The problems with assumptions is that we BELIEVE they are the truth. We make assumptions about what others are doing or thinking – we take it personally – then we blame them and react by sending emotional poison with our word. The way to keep yourself from making assumptions is to ask questions. Make sure the communication is clear. If you don’t understand, ask. Have the courage to ask questions until you are as clear as you can be.

Always Do Your Best Under any circumstance, always do your best, no more and no less. But keep in mind that you best is never going to be the same from one moment to the next. Everything is alive and changing all the time, so your best will something be high quality, and other times it will not be as good.

The YWLA Way! Impact vs. Intent 100% Responsibility

How Could Using the 4 Agreements & the YWLA Way Impact This Situation? You are in the café when you see Erica walking in with a full tray of food. It’s busy in the café and there aren’t many free chairs left. She starts moving toward a table full of chatting girls. There is a backpack on the only open chair. You see that when Erica asks if the chair is free, the other girls keep chatting and ignore her. Be impeccable with your word. Don’t take anything personally. Don’t make assumptions. Always do your best. Identify the players – both are responsible for having their needs met.

How Could Using the 4 Agreements & the YWLA Way Impact This Situation? Every day during a free period, Justine, who is one of the quieter students in school, goes to the gym and practices a dance routine. Over the course of several days, a couple of girls follow Justine and secretly take videos of her dancing. They send messages to you and other students with links to the videos online. The messages include unkind comments about Justine’s dancing. Be impeccable with your word. Don’t take anything personally. Don’t make assumptions. Always do your best. Identify the players – both are responsible for having their needs met.