Breakout Session 301: The Intentional Narrative

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Presentation transcript:

Breakout Session 301: The Intentional Narrative Lizza Robb, MSW

POP Model for Purposeful Action Purpose: Why is this important? Why is it a valuable use of my time and energy? Outcomes: What do I hope to accomplish? Process: How am I going to do it? The POP Model for purposeful action comes from Robert Gass’s work through the Social Transformation Project

Purpose: Why is this important? Our course is set by the stories we tell—individually and collectively As individuals and systems we have a great deal of control over how the stories we tell shape our reality As a leader, it is crucial that you are intentional about the stories… you tell about yourself as a leader you support your staff to tell about themselves you co-create about your organization

Outcomes: What we hope to accomplish Elevate self-awareness by reflecting on the inner narrative Inspire a positive lens for individual and organizational narratives Set actionable intentions

Process: How we’ll get there Topics: Multiple Realities Intentional Narrative Format: Teaching Discussion Personal Reflection

Multiple Realities We don’t live in a real world Blind Men and Elephant ("Wall!" "Snake!" "Spear!" "Cow!" "Carpet!" "Rope!“) Individual Collective Ex. Value-based payment (negative frame v positive frame)

Our course is set by the stories we tell. Social constructionist theory Words create worlds Image inspires action

Inner Story: THE SECRET TO HAPPINESS Words create worlds: we create reality through the way we choose to narrate our experiences. Positivity Ratios: 3:1 ratio forecasts optimism for individuals 6:1 for teams 5:1 for intimate relationships We create reality through the way we choose to narrate our experiences. Let me say this again, We create reality through the way we choose to narrate our experiences.   And as groups, we co-create reality based on the collective stories we tell. We know that human beings, and human systems, move toward the stories we tell. We have to be very careful about what those stories are. So for instance, your boss comes into your office and says, “This report you turned in is full of errors. You need to fix it before you leave tonight. This is not good.” What’s your inner story? [Expressive.] Is it, “Ugh, I always do this. Why do I always screw everything up? I can’t believe it. I’m so stupid. I’ll never be able to fix it tonight. I’m sure this is it. He’s probably planning to fire me.” That’s one way of looking at it. The way an optimist might look at it is, “Okay, well that’s not what I expected. I thought I’d done pretty good work on that report. Let me find out more about his concerns. This is totally fixable. I’m not going to stress out about it. What’s the lesson here? You know what, I need him to look at a rough draft earlier in the process.” See the difference in mindset. what happens to our physical chemistry if we’re constantly responding to the world with this, “Ugh, this is awful, I’m so mad!” [Hear from several.] Right, so inner story is a place where a lot of us create internal chronic stress! So what’s this positivity ratio? It’s really simple. In order to live at the higher end of our happiness range, we need to make about 3 positive attributions for every 1 negative. It’s not 10:1 and it’s not 3:0. It’s not about being Pollyanna and pretending everything’s great all the time. Hard things happen. And it’s sad or painful and infuriating. Those things happen. But if that’s the majority of your experience, where do you think you’re going to live in your happiness range? This is within your control. Because emotions are contagious, the ratio is 6:1 on teams. This is talking about shared experiences. Some teams will actually build moments of positivity into their agenda. Like starting with gratitude or having everyone share a success story from the week. Or if someone on the team gets defensive or triggered, others can use those positive emotional attractors to help them stay open and to help the group stay open. It’s also relevant to how the group talks about one another or the boss, right? “He’s such a micromanager. Can you believe she did that again?” This is about being intentional about the stories we tell. About the reality we create. Sources: Barbara Fredrickson, PhD; The Gottman Institute

THE OPTIMIST’S WINNING TRIAD: NOT ALWAYS, NOT EVERYTHING, NOT ME People who are resilient see setbacks as: Temporary (“It’s going to go away”) Local (“It’s just this one situation”) Changeable (“I can do something about this”) We know that people who are the most resilient tend to have and optimistic mindset.   They see setbacks as: Temporary (It’s going to go away); Local (It’s just this one situation; it’s not everything.); and Changeable (I have some agency here) The big point here is that it’s, “This situation stinks.,” not “I stink.” What do you do with this? This is one area where awareness is your best friend. Start to pay attention. Ask yourself throughout the day, what story am I telling myself right now? Is it helpful? Another thing we can do is practice reframing. [Share story about Situational reframing.]

A commonly told inner story “Not Enough” A commonly told inner story - Robert Gass

Awareness is the greatest agent for change. Ekhart Tolle People always want to know how to fix their story Awareness Gestalt paradoxical theory of change Think about the last time you really blew it. At work or in your personal life.

This is not only relevant to the stories we tell when we feel things aren’t going well.

AT MY PERSONAL BEST Think about a time when you were at your best at work. Share with a partner… What happened? How did you feel during? How did you feel after? What were the conditions that supported you to be at your best? 3 minutes each Think about a time you were at your best at work. A time you really nailed it. Not something you attribute to your team; this is about your personal success. A time when you personally knocked it out of the part.   Think about what happened. How did you feel when it was happening? How did you feel after? What were the conditions that supported you to be at your best? Pair up with someone at your table with whom you haven’t partnered yet. And share your story.    Take 3-minutes each. I’ll let you know when it’s time to switch. [Time 3 minutes and let them know to switch.] What if you went back to work and asked each of your direct reports to tell you their success story? Important data about what conditions they need to be at their best

10 minutes

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