Stand Strong  Stay Safe Lesson 4

The Neighbor and Ray The Neighbor Friendly, but not close friends with Ray’s family Watches kids walk home from school Ray Quiet, enjoys being alone Often listens to music

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Warning Signs of Grooming Grooming is a pattern of behavior that is used to get close to a child and earn the child’s trust. Grooming may include: Being more interested in the child than the parents Finding ways to spend time alone with them Showing unusually childish behavior Using inappropriate words and images, such as talking about private parts Giving the child gifts, special attention, or privileges; regularly singles the child out Touching the child in ways that crosses the child’s boundaries Telling the child to keep secrets from parents or other adults Becker & Reilly, 1999 Lanning, 2010 Olson, Daggs, Ellevold, & Rogers, 2007 Finkelhor, 2009

Where Are the Warning Signs?

How Do You Think Ray Feels?

Abuse is NEVER a child’s fault.

Sexual Boundaries No one may look at or touch the private parts of your body unless you need help and it is not a secret. No one is allowed to show you their private parts or ask to see the private parts of your body. No one is allowed to take pictures or videos of the private parts of your body, nor show you pictures or videos of other people’s private parts. The private parts of your body belong to you. You decide who touches you, where they touch you, how they touch you, and when they touch you. Anytime someone breaks these rules or crosses your sexual boundaries, get out of the situation as quickly and as safely as you can and tell an adult you trust.

Practice: Is It Safe or Unsafe? RED – This situation is definitely unsafe; I need to get out and get help. One or more of the following is happening: YELLOW – This situation could be unsafe; I need to pay attention to other warning signs and get help anytime I am not sure whether I am safe. GREEN –This situation is definitely safe. Private parts touched/looked at ONLY because the child needs help. Warning signs of grooming Boundaries are respected Untrustworthy adult behavior No untrustworthy behavior Crosses sexual boundaries No secrets kept from trusted adults- Secrets

Thank you for Standing Strong to Stay Safe!