Getting to know your kindergartener Immaculate Heart of Mary School 2017-2018 Jodi Turpening MA, LPCC-S

Personal Growth Children entering kindergarten tend to be fairly active and spend a great deal of their time and energy finding themselves. Adventure and exploration gives them a broader sense of self. Kindergarteners tend to aim high as they set out to do things for themselves. This may lead to frustration if they do not master what they have set out to do. Gender differences become more solidified and gender stereotypes tend to be introduced Both boys and girls want to be active and imaginative Increase independence Increased need to feel like they are useful and competent, which then increases a child’s self esteem Ability to understand why they should be kind, honest, obedient and polite Gender difference-you will see this play out in friendships and possibly even peer comments to one another (girls don’t play football, etc. Being active and imaginative are ways that kindergarteners find themselves, so encourage dress up, encourage exploring different toys, etc. Independence is great, but also frustrating. A kindergartener wants to tie their own shoes but it takes them a long time, To build one’s self esteem a kindergartener needs to show they can do something, they need that opportunity and then the praise when they accomplish things Though a kindergartener understand rules and wants to abide by them, they still struggle to always remember and need lots of reminding.

Cognitive Development Between the ages of 3 and 6 a child’s cognitive growth explodes. Increased ability to think of multiple solutions to a problem and begin to pair the solution with consequences Use words to argue and try to reason with people, due to their increase in language development Increase in ability to sustain a focused conversation Follow simple multi-step directions

Social and Emotional Changes During the kindergarten school year, children’s social and emotional development tends to go beyond making friends and expressing feelings. They start understanding more complicated things like right and wrong. Many 5-year-olds are also likely to do these things: Have an interest in behaving like their friends, wanting their approval and begins to notice the benefits of getting along with others Begin to prefer same-gender friendships; become jealous of other people spending time with “their” friends Follow the rules most of the time; may criticize kids who don’t follow the rules Enjoy being on display; will sing, dance or be silly to get attention Want your approval and to be taken seriously; may throw a tantrum or get angry if they thinks they’re not being listened to Begin to control strong emotional responses Behaving like friends-this sometimes becomes a struggle if friends are having a negative impact on one another. Assist your child in understanding the negative choice and possible consequences in an individual way. Remind yourself that the pressures and pleasures of your child experiencing friendships is their way in figuring out who they are and how they fit in.

How to support your Kindergartener Plan play dates to encourage friendships and free play. Monitor these play dates, due to conflict over rules and coach social skills Be honest and age appropriate about certain decisions and consequences to assist your child in beginning to understand how to better problem solve Set family routines and rituals to reduce uncertainty and increase reassurance that a child experiences Teach empathy-”How would you feel if….”; “When you did that, how do you think your friend felt?” Read, talk and explore with your child Give them responsibilities: learn to fold laundry, clear and wipe dishes, sort and put away clean dishes, pick up and sort toys Chose your battles and be patient Reserve the word “no” for things that negatively affect the safety or well being of your child and others Teach through discipline and provide that discipline through an authoritative parenting style Model, practice and rehearse social situations, manners, problem solving authoritative parenting style: exercise control over their children’s behaviors, but they do it with flexibility, reason, explanations, and allow for independence; allow for give and take, but their children know that important issues the parent is the boss.

Resources Ages and Stages by Dr. Charles E. Schaefer and Theresa Foy DiGeronimo Love and Logic-Loveandlogic.com Dan Siegel: No-Drama Discipline, Whole Brain Child, Parenting from the Inside Out https://www.understood.org