Grade 9 Observations Write-On #1

Transitions in Paragraphs Subsequently, eventually, finally… But it did not end that way. Friday. Setting: It was the first day of school. The hallway was like a jungle watering hole.

Use of similes and metaphors The locker room was messy. vs The locker room was messy like the floor of a country bar. I hated losing. vs Losing, to me, was a red poker right to the gut.

Use your thesaurus If there are words like good, thing, fun, bad, scared…use the thesaurus to find another word, or try a phrase. He was so scared, a handful of spiders seemed like a walk in the park. Vs He was petrified, like a marble statue in the Louvre museum.

Names need commas Her sister, Beth, became very ill that night with a high fever. Her coach, Mr. Tough, wanted her to be the absolute best that she could be.

In a short story, it can look like pieces of dialogue, short sentences, longer paragraphs. Mix it up!

The prompt was about the journey, not the destination Examples from the class: -Striving to achieve a goal does not just change your life for the better, but it brings others along for the ride too, showing them the right way to go about a goal. -It doesn’t matter that Sheena lost her way in the middle, she found her way back again after modifying her goal, and pursued through the difficulties, making her stronger and prouder of herself. It took 20 long and vengeful years, but the wait just meant that the planning was evermore perfect, and the revenge evermore sweet. The use of time was needed.

A High 3 and a low 3 is still a 3. Content: Going from predictable thoughts (3) to sound thoughts (4). Organization: Closure is mechanical (3) to purposeful (4).

Edit your work with a different colour pen

Run-On Sentences https://www.quia.com/pop/35933.html?AP_rand=748171643