Practice Paper 1 Feedback

Logistics With 30 more minutes many of you will be able to fully develop your points. Shoot for a minimum of 4 pages. With two hours, I would like to see 4-5 pages. Consider whether you’d prefer to skip lines to make it easier for you to go back and make corrections.

The first 30 minutes Fully use this time to read, read again for understanding, close read, and outline. Time here will be rewarded in your score.

Advice & Reminders The author and the narrator are not identical The poet and the speaker are not identical Poems have speakers, prose passages have narrators Imagery vs. image(s) You need to discuss structure regardless of which piece you choose

Avoid Passive Voice I saw a lot of it It removes the author from your argument, weakening Criterion B It weakens your writing, making it passive It makes you wordier and less clear

Examples: The first two sentences of this second paragraph is the only time the narrator’s inner thoughts are shared. Better: The author only reveals the narrator’s inner thoughts once, in the first two sentences of the second paragraph.

This innocent image is reinforced by the description of the concrete as “virginal.” Church reinforces this innocent image by describing the concrete as “virginal.”

Then the workers are said to “sway under the effort.” The speaker states that the workers “sway under the effort.”

No “X writes” in Lead-ins It doesn’t allow you to show that you understand the difference between author and narrator/speaker It gets you off the hook for providing context for your quotations, which means you’re not showing you understand the poem/passage

Examples: When describing the imprint left behind, Church writes…. Better: When describing the imprint left behind, the speaker says…

This is heightened by the last line of the first stanza, where Church writes that the mixer put its “cruel mouths to their prey”.(6) Better: This is heightened by the last line of the first stanza, where the speaker describes how the mixer put its “cruel mouths to their prey”.(6)

In the last paragraph, the tension rises after the characters arrive at the hut and see the dead bodies. Eng writes, “Their throats had been slit” (28). Better: In the last paragraph, the tension rises after the characters arrive at the hut and see the dead bodies. The narrator states bluntly, “Their throats had been slit” (28).

Advice Continued Leave time to proofread carefully Use your literary terms “Shift” is not a technique. A shift IN…mood, tone, perspective…etc.

Dominant Effect What is the primary intellectual effect (the big idea)? What is the primary emotional effect on the reader (you)? Combine those two into one sentence to create your Dominant Effect (thesis) In general these were pretty solid

Tone vs. Mood? Many of you are using “tone” incorrectly. If you aren’t discussing it correctly it’s better not to discuss it. Tone = “tone of voice” Mood = atmosphere

Can you find….? POEM Simple sentence Complex sentence personification metaphor Complex sentence Onomatopoeia personification assonance/consonance Setting Character Stanza Nonverbal communication Enjambment Repetition Metaphor PROSE analogy Tension/suspense

Reflection & Goal Setting What went well? What do you want to do differently next time (on your last Paper 1 practice)?