CONFLICT Resolution

Conflict What are some common causes of conflict? Is there more than one good way to solve a conflict? What kind of things can people say to escalate conflict?

Does the way you react to conflict depend on: If you know the person? Don’t know the person? If something matters to you? If something doesn’t matter to you?

CONFLICT DEFINITION To be at odds with someone Strong disagreement To differ from their ideas/opinions Two or more people do not agree

What is Conflict Resolution? A skill that is being used in schools and communities across the country as a means of resolving conflict in a POSITIVE way.

STEPS IN CONFLICT RESOLUTION Gather Information Each party allowed to tell the story of what is causing the conflict.

STEPS IN CONFLICT RESOLUTION Define the problem/s A mediator restates the facts from both sides of the story. A mediator is a neutral third party that facilitates the conversation and sets the ground rules.

STEPS IN CONFLICT RESOLUTION Identify alternative solutions Both parties can propose solutions.

STEPS IN CONFLICT RESOLUTION Identify a possible solution Mediator revises possible solutions based on the feelings of both parties. Negotiation is conferring with one another and coming up with a solution.

Negotiation is used to provide both parties with some of what they want. Parties will discuss what happens if one of them breaks the agreement Each participant is asked to tell friends that conflict has been resolved (WHY?)

STEPS IN CONFLICT RESOLUTION Reach an agreement Mediator helps each party accept an agreement that would work for each party Agreement written down and both parties sign the agreement

Defense Mechanisms

Defense mechanisms: These are automatic and involuntary ways people react to anxiety-producing events or threats.

Many people use these to avoid the reality of a situation. They can be used in healthy and unhealthy ways throughout your life.

Many different types of defense mechanisms: Direct attack Compensation Rationalization Projection Displacement Conversion Regression Idealization Day Dreaming Giving Up

Direct Attack: This is used in response to a threat to your self-esteem, you attack the source of the threat. You have defended the threat to your self-esteem by attacking the person making the comment. This can be used in a healthy way if your comment back is not critical of the other person.

Compensation: This uses a substitute method to achieve a desired goal. Compensation allows a person to make up for some real or imaginary deficiency by doing well in something else.

For example, Positively: If you are not tall or fast enough to play basketball you might try other sports such as golf. Negatively: If parents do not spend much time with their children they often give their children many material things to compensate for the time they are not with them.

Rationalization: This is when you explain your weaknesses or failures by giving socially acceptable excuses. Rationalization may make you feel better temporarily, but it does not help you solve the real problem.

For example: If you failed a test and afterwards said it was because it was impractical information and not worth knowing you were rationalizing. If you did not study well enough, you should admit it and try harder the next time.

Projection: This is when you blame other people or things for your failures. This does differ from rationalization in that you are actually projecting the blame to someone or something else. Scapegoat is a common term used to describe the person who bears the blame/projection. Ex: You may bump by someone while walking in the hall. This person my use projection by saying “Why don’t you look where you are going.”

Displacement: This is when you transfer an emotion connected with one person or thing to an unrelated person or thing. You can displace hate, aggression, annoyance, or frustration. This is a unhealthy defense mechanism. Ex: Students who are concerned about a certain social problem often displace their hatred and aggression.

Conversion: This is where you transfer the energy of a desire you cannot express into a physical symptom or complaint. Ex: If you have ever been uneasy about getting up in front of the class to read a report, you may have lost your voice, or had clammy hands.

Regression: This is where you revert back to a less mature stage of development. Ex. Crying, name calling, throwing and breaking things, trying to escape the problem by using drugs or alcohol are all forms of regression.

Idealization: This is when you value something far more than it is worth. Ex: Idealizing yourself, other people, clothes, fancy cars, a huge house, etc.

Day Dreaming: People may day dream to accomplish in their imagination what they cannot accomplish in reality. Some day dreaming is healthy as long as it does not become frequent. You can attempt to escape reality instead of facing life as it comes. This could hinder your efforts to achieve real success.

Giving Up This is when a person feels they have no talents or skills. They feel the world is against them. These type of people need support and encouragement. These type of people must want to help themselves before anyone can actually help them. (Family members, friends, etc.)