Non violent resistance Julie Hamisi 15th November 2018

Introductions Julie Hamisi – Family Systemic Psychotherapist working within CAMHS Nottinghamshire HealthCare Trust

The main principles of NVR (Haim Omer) Taking a firm stance against violence, risk taking and anti-social behaviours Holding back from physical or verbal violence Increasing your positive presence in your child’s life

What is unique about NVR Not behavioural but relational. Comes from successful applications of non violence in the social domains (Ghandi, Martin Luther King). Introduces change to the social environment (society, community, school, family, individual) It aims to support adults in resisting violent/coercive behaviours. It is not prescriptive but tries to find solutions in a collaborative way.

What is unique about NVR Breaks some behavioural taboos, ie. Strike when the iron is cold -not deal with problems there and then. Taboo of intruding on boundaries (entering adolescent’s space). Borrows from other ideas (ie. Baskets and the idea of de-escalation) Supports the adults and shift their sense of agency and control. You are the difference

The anchoring function of NVR

The anchoring Function ‘The anchoring function can be viewed from 2 standpoints: that of parental attitudes, connections and acts that make it possible (the parent’s self anchoring) and that of the impact upon the child (the anchoring itself). The parent’s self-anchoring is manifested when they; 1. create a structural framework that allows for a protected and stable family life; 2. stay present and involved in their child’s life; 3. steady themselves through their supportive network; and 4. base their strength on self-control, persistence and endurance. Each of these gives the parents a hold, enabling them to function as an anchor for their child’ (Omer et al 2013)

How NVR is applied within complex systems Violence and Aggression – think about escalation / de-escalation Cohersive behaviours – think about parental presence Anxiety – think about parental presence Self-harm – think about making an announcement Domestic Abuse – think about making a self announcement Absconding – think about support systems

How NVR fits within Systemic Theory and Practice Engagement – warming the context. Reframing – Helping parents to separate behaviour from their child – it’s not personal. Change the internal image of their child and themselves as parents. Circularity – even though we may only be working with parents the child’s presence is always in the room. Who else may be in the room (those past and present)?

Use of ROM’s … SCORE

Thinking about how things are going …

Techniques within the sessions Internalised other Letter writing

De-escalating conflict

Increasing parental presence

Reconciliation Gestures/ Relational Gestures

Creating Support systems

Prioritising Behaviours

Making an announcement

The Sit In

Mindfulness

Listening to our Parents …

Past …

Present …

Future …

Hopes for the day …

A final thank you too .. Haim Omer Liz Day / Elizabeth Heissman Peter Jacob Helen McEleny The parents who we have worked alongside who continue to inspire Gary Robinson and DAFT for letting us share our passion for NVR You all for listening … enjoy your day