How to be an informed ally I designed this workshop to be about an hour long. However, I have taught it in as little as half an hour. Please feel free to modify this lesson however you see fit, to meet your needs. The goal is to introduce queer and straight people alike to the vocabulary that they should know as well as some of the important issues faced by queer people today. This workshop can be used as an introduction to a unit or on its own. For ideas on how to expand this workshop or for answers to any questions you might have, please feel free to email me at Queerbooklist@outlook.com

Show what you know We tend to start with the assumption that students do not know anything. However, we might often find ourselves surprised by just how much they know if we give them the chance to show us. If I have the time, I like to start by providing the class with a handful of chalk or markers. I ask them to cover the boards or chart paper with whatever they know and think about being LGBTQ+. Once they are done writing on the board, I read aloud what they wrote and depending on what is there I may ask for clarification or more information, or use it to prompt a short conversation.

Workshop Rules Confidentiality – what is said in the room stays in the room “One mic rule” – only one person should speak at a time Everyone’s voices should be heard with respect Questions are welcomed – this is meant to be a learning experience Sharing is Encouraged – we want to know what you know and think Don’t assume anything

Background Vocabulary The next couple of slides contain terms that are necessary to understand the various identities that make up the queer community. Make sure that your students understand these terms before moving forward

Biological sex is based on a number of factors Male Female Depending on the age of your students (I have only done this with students in the 10th grade or older) they may already know about biological sex. Typically I ask them what are the factors that determine biological sex. These factors include chromosomes (X and Y), hormones, internal and external genitalia. This is also information that you can add to the slide.

Gender Identity Gender is a social construct Gender identity is the gender that someone identifies as Can be the same or different from the gender that is assigned at birth At this point in the workshop, it is incredibly important to make sure that students understand the difference between sex and gender. This is an important concept that forms the basis of much of what is to come.

Gender Expression Gender expression is appearance It may or may not align with gender expression or sex Masculine Feminine Androgynous Gender expression or gender presentation is different from both sex and gender identity. Ask students to think about what ways we express our gender. (Hair, makeup, clothing, perfume, piercings, etc)

Sexual Orientation Sexual orientation is a reflection of who someone is attracted to This is usually based on gender identity Sexuality or sexual orientation, is the thing that students are more likely to have an understanding of already. We will go into this in more detail later in the workshop. At this point, I just like to stress that sexuality is typically thought of in terms of gender orientation and not sex. It is also important to stress attraction, in the sense that it is a feeling. You do not have to act on your sexual orientation to know who you are attracted to (or who you are not attracted to)

Queer Identities

KEEP IN MIND Queer people exist everywhere. There is nothing inherently wrong or bad with being queer. There is no link between queerness and mental illness or criminality Queerness is not a choice, but acceptance is There is no right way to be queer and all queer people are unique. Before going into some of the different types of queer identities, it is important to start with these core truths. This is especially important because the next part of the workshop is devoted to defining different queer identities. However, the definitions that are given here are not one size fits all. At this point, and again later in the workshop I like to stress that identity is an expression of self, and we must respect how someone else identifies their gender or sexual identity regardless of whether their identity fits our pre-conceived idea of that identity.

Lesbian Gay Bisexual Trans LGBT At this point, I ask students if they know what the different letters stand for. Many will know all 4, some might even ask If there are others. (to the latter respond that we will discuss those in a bit) Once all four letters have been named, It is important to go one by one and provide a definition. Lesbian- a female identified person who is attracted to other female identified people Gay – someone who is attracted to someone of the same gender (can be male or female but typically used to refer to gay men) Bisexual – someone who is attracted to two genders (notice I say 2 and not both, because there are more than 2 gender identities) Trans – Transgender refers to someone who identifies with a gender other than the one assigned at birth (not just the opposite gender but any gender). This is opposed to cisgender which means you identify with the gender assigned at birth. Transgender is an adjective and not a noun. Transexual is a less used term, some people use Transexual to refer to someone who has undergone reassignment surgery and transgender to refer to someone who has not, but this is not a set in stone rule.

LGBTQIA+ Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual On this slide I once again ask students to name what the letters stand for and define them. Queer- an umbrella term that refers to anything other than straight and/or cisgender. Some people use it as an alternative for LGBT and some use it as their identity category Question- Q can stand for both or either. Questioning is someone who does not know how they identify and are in the process of trying to figure out Intersex- refers to someone who does not biologically meet the typical critera for male or female. Such as someone who is outwardly male but may have an internal uterus, or someone who has both a penis and a vagina or someone born with ambiguous genitalia. Asexual- Someone who does not experience sexual attraction. This is also a spectrum and some people can feel some level of sexual attraction, possibly only in a certain situation. After defining these terms, I also like to spend some time asking if people know others. Common terms students may have heard of but not be fully familiar with include: pansexual, demisexual, aromantic, demiromantic, two spirit, gender queer, non-binary, gender fluid

Other Terms Coming out In the closet PGPs SRS Ally It is also important that students know what these words mean Coming out- when someone tells someone else (or admits to themselves) that they are part of the LGBTQIA+ community. Coming out is a continuous process, because you are constantly meeting new people and deciding whether or not to tell them In the closet- the opposite of coming out. Being in the closet is when people don’t know. Someone can be out to some people and closeted with others. PGPS- preferred gender pronouns. The pronouns that someone wants to be referred to ask he/him/his she/her/hers they/them/theirs etc While PGPS is common, there is a push to drop the preferred part because it makes It seem optional SRS- sex reassignment surgery, procedure to make outsides match insides, which SOME but not all trans people decide to undergo. Some may take hormones, but neither is a requirement to be trans Ally- Someone who supports and assist queer people. You can be queer and still be an ally. For example a gay man can be an ally to trans people

Why Do we Need allies?

This slide has been purposefully left blank, In this slide (usually multiple slides) I include statistics about issues faced by queer individuals dependent on the group that is participating in this workshop. For example, I will use high school stats for high school students and college stats for college students. I also try to use statistics based on location. Some sources I use for statistics are: Human Rights Campaign, Trevor Project, Gallup, Pew, Some statistics I look for: hate crimes, discrimination, laws/policies, bathroom politics, homelessness rates, suicide rates, etc.

How can You be an ally?

You’re not an ally when you: “out” them Compare their story to others Assume people are gay or straight Let homophobic comments slide Using outdated/offensive terminology Make assumptions about their orientation Promote stereotypes Tolerating negative comments Demand answers to personal and invasive questions Go through this list one by one and make sure that students understand what each of these items mean and why they are important

Do Don’t When Asking Questions Be respectful Make sure the person is comfortable responding Be open and understanding of the answers that you receive Assume anything Demand a response Ask invasive questions (especially strangers) Use offensive terminology Place labels on people Tell people that they are wrong When Asking Questions It is important to stress that it is okay to ask questions. Queer people cannot expect non-queers to understand everything and have all the answers. However, it is also not a queer person’s job to educate. You must be respectful when you ask questions and understand that it is up to the person you ask whether or not to answer.

How to be an ally Offer the “buddy system” Use inclusive language – partner, significant other Do not be a bystander Don’t assume anyone's gender or sexual identity Do not out anyone Educate people when you can Don’t assume all gays and lesbians are attracted to all people of the same sex/gender Challenge heterosexist curriculum Ask for their GP’s Be patient It is okay to make a mistake, admit it and correct yourself As with the previous slides, go through this list one by one and make sure that everything is understood.

ANY QUESTIONS? At this point in the presentation, it is time to allow students to ask any questions they might have. The learning part of the presentation is now over. If you do not know an answer to a question do not guess, be honest. Also be sure to remind students that there is no one answer and that every person is unique. The information in this presentation can be used as a guide but should not be taken as an absolute.

Discussion Questions If there is any time left in the presentation (I normally do not have any more time after the Q+A) you can move on to these open ended discussions. Remind students to think about their answers carefully and remember the tips for being an ally.

You overhear people using anti-gay slurs towards someone else You overhear people using anti-gay slurs towards someone else. What do you do? Someone voices a complaint about having to share a bathroom with Trans women? What do you do? Rumors are going around that a friend of yours is gay, but he has not said anything. What do you do? All of these questions are open ended and have no one answer. Students should remember the how to be an ally tips and reference them whenever possible. It is important in these questions to stress that the thing to do is what the person who is affected wants to be done. As an ally, it is not our job to act for queer people, but to act with queer people.