Middle leadership skills – managing difficult conversations Webinar Middle leadership skills – managing difficult conversations Helen Morgan Introduce the webinar, self and welcome participants. Download this presentation from oego.co/webinaoego-diffconvers

Managing difficult conversations In this webinar, you will develop your understanding of: what makes some conversations difficult and why it is essential to have them the practicalities of having a challenging conversation strategies and approaches to managing difficult conversations how to manage your own feelings and those of others. Outline the webinar objectives and highlight the key aspects of the session.

Reflections Think about any difficult conversations you have had. What were they about? What made them difficult? What did you learn? Give participants an opportunity to reflect and offer some thoughts.

Why are some conversations difficult? Historical baggage Strong emotions Potential consequences Wider conflict Timings Relationships Explore some of the reasons why conversations are difficult-exemplify one or two, particularly historical baggage.

Framing the conversation What are the reasons for this conversation? Why do I need to have this conversation now? What factors have contributed to this? What do I want to happen? Outline a framework that participants can use to manage a difficult conversation. Highlight the importance of ensuring that the way forward is realistic, reasonable and achievable.

Practicalities: when and where? Arrange the meeting sooner rather than later; if there is a problem, it is better to deal with it quickly and efficiently. Try to arrange the meeting in a place that is private and where you and your colleague won’t be interrupted. Book a meeting room if possible as it is neutral. Avoid sitting behind a desk and creating an automatic barrier and an immediate sense of hierarchy. Arrange the meeting at the end of the day or after school so that your colleague can leave the meeting and reflect on the conversation. Let your colleague know what the meeting is about beforehand so that they don’t arrive ‘cold.’ Outline the practicalities of having a difficult conversation. Explore approaches to ensuring that the colleague arrives knowing what the discussion is about.

How to open the conversation Use the KISS technique to open the meeting (Keep It Short and Simple). It is important that your colleague understands the reason for the meeting. Keep the introduction short (e.g. 2/3 minutes). Thank your colleague for meeting with you; it is essential to show respect and remain professional at all times. Briefly explain: why you are meeting now what has led to the current situation the impact of the situation Use clear and straightforward language so that there is no ambiguity e.g. ‘We are here to discuss the frequency and quality of your marking.’ Outline how to open the conversation and the importance of KISS.

‘A conversation is a dialogue not a monologue.’ Truman Capote ‘A conversation is a dialogue not a monologue.’ The real skill of managing a difficult conversation is to engage the other person. This will enable participants to get to the root of the issue and find an agreed way forward.

How to invite discussion After you have explained why the meeting is taking place and described the issues, it is important to invite discussion with your colleague. Avoid ‘why’ questions as they can be confrontational and close the discussion down. It is crucial to focus on the future and moving forward. Potential questions Tell me how you see the current situation. Have I got the full picture? Are there any other reasons for this? What are the ways forward? Is there anything that would prevent this? What do you want to happen? Is it realistic? How can I help or support you? Discuss the key questions and why they are important, identify one or two. Point out that it’s important to avoid the pitfall of making promises that you cant keep or accepting responsibility.

Closing the conversation Close the conversation by: thanking your colleague for listening and their contribution summarising clearly what has been agreed and the way forward. Outline how to close the conversation effectively with a particular focus on summarizing what has been agreed.

Dealing with difficulty? Be professional Avoid over-explaining Be comfortable with silence Stop the conversation Solutions Explore some of the difficulties that participants may experience and offer some practical solutions e.g. deaing with negative body language prompts you to say ‘I’m struggling to interpret your silence.’

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