Pre-Class Discussion Questions • What most encouraged you or challenged you from session 2 of Merge? • What has been your most recent conflict/hard conversation? Were you able to immediately apply anything you learned from last week’s class?

Text in Questions Anonymously 800-555-1212 #WMMerge

Biblical Roles in Marriage

Thompson Video

God’s Design: God is a God of order , not chaos, and in the family, His order is that the husband is the head of the household.

1 Corinthians 11:3 But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ.

God’s Design: We are designed by God with equal value.

Galatians 3:28 There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

God’s Design: Even though most of us grew up learning how to be independent of our parents, in marriage, we learn how to be interdependent. We are no longer two individual beings, but one in every way.

Four Aspects of God’s Design for Marriage: For the Husband: Loving Leading

Four Aspects of God’s Design for Marriage: For the Wife: Helping Submitting

For the Husband: I. Loving her is the hardest thing you will ever do.

Ephesians 5:25-29 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church.

For the Husband: Loving your wife has nothing to do with feelings. God loved us with action by sending His Son to die for us, not because we were performing in a way that made us lovable.

Practical Elements of Loving My Wife: 1. _______________ what she has going on each day. 2. Find ways to ___________ at home. 3. _______________ my wife. 4. Self-denial 5. Obey Christ first, not reacting in response to your wife’s _______________.

Practical Elements of Loving My Wife: 1. _______________ what she has going on each day. 2. Find ways to ___________ at home. 3. _______________ my wife. 4. Self-denial 5. Obey Christ first, not reacting in response to your wife’s _______________. Know

Practical Elements of Loving My Wife: 1. _______________ what she has going on each day. 2. Find ways to ___________ at home. 3. _______________ my wife. 4. Self-denial 5. Obey Christ first, not reacting in response to your wife’s _______________. Know help

1 Peter 3:7-8 You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit;

Practical Elements of Loving My Wife: 1. _______________ what she has going on each day. 2. Find ways to ___________ at home. 3. _______________ my wife. 4. Self-denial 5. Obey Christ first, not reacting in response to your wife’s _______________. Know help Understand

Practical Elements of Loving My Wife: 1. _______________ what she has going on each day. 2. Find ways to ___________ at home. 3. _______________ my wife. 4. Self-denial 5. Obey Christ first, not reacting in response to your wife’s _______________. Know help Understand performance

For the Wife: 2. The wife is to be the husband’s helper.

Genesis 2:18 “Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”

For the Wife: The wife is responsible for two things: to help and to submit.

John 14:16-17 And I will ask the Father; and He will give you another helper, that He may be with you forever; that is the Spirit of truth.

Definition of Helper in Marriage: A helper is a woman who helps her husband to do something or be something he could not do or be on his own.

Struggles with Helping Yet your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you. Genesis 3:16

Struggles with Helping: We can help in a way that hurts our husbands—this is an error in our God given role and it gets our marriage off balance. It typically looks one of two ways. When we: 1. ______________ 2. ______________

Struggles with Helping: We can help in a way that hurts our husbands—this is an error in our God given role and it gets our marriage off balance. It typically looks one of two ways. When we: 1. ______________ 2. ______________ Control him

Struggles with Helping: We can help in a way that hurts our husbands—this is an error in our God given role and it gets our marriage off balance. It typically looks one of two ways. When we: 1. ______________ 2. ______________ Control him Stay silent

1 Peter 3:1-2 In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.

For the Husband: 3. Leading is not at all what you might think.

For the Husband: It’s not about our rank in the relationship, but rather our responsibility.

Mark 10:42-45 Calling them to Himself, Jesus said to them, “You know that those who are recognized as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them; and their great men exercise authority over them. But it is not this way among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant; and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.

= For the Husband: Leading in Marriage Submitting to Christ Serving my wife Leading in Marriage =

For the Wife: 4. Submission is not a dirty word.

Biblical Submission is NOT: 1. Blindly following my husband into sin. 2. Being inferior in any way. 3. Physically, emotionally or mentally allowing abuse or violation of the law.

Biblical Submission is: Based upon cooperation not contention.

Proverbs 21.9 It is better to live in the corner of a rooftop than in a house shared with a contentious woman.

Biblical Submission is: Seen throughout scripture from Genesis to Revelation.

Ephesians 5:21-22 Be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church.

Application of Submission: 1. Coming willingly under his leadership. 2. Encouraging him through my words and actions. 3. Understanding that we are different and his responsibilities and pressures are great.

Romans 15:13 Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.