SHAME NATION: Helping Teens Choose Kindness In An Age of Trolling By Sue Scheff @SueScheff www.suescheff.com Sue.scheff@gmail.com Online hate. Sexting scandals. Ugly poll contests. Sextortion. Welcome to Shame Nation. © Sue Scheff

Welcome to Shame Nation 59% of U.S teens have been bullied or harassed online. -Pew Research Center, 2018  50% of teens feel “addicted” to their phones. -Common Sense Media, 2016  39% of teens have sent or posted sexually suggestive messages (sexting). -GuardChild 2017  Technology is making children dangerously unhealthy. -World Health Organization, 2017  Instagram ranked worst for young people’s mental health. -#StatusOfMind, 2017 95% of teens own smartphones and 45% say they are constantly online. –Pew Research, 2018 Over 50% of teens experience of bullying and harassment online today. 95% of teens own a smartphone – and 45% of them say they’re online constantly. So when we ask the question – how can help them choose kindness in an age of trolling – there’s only one answer… It starts with us! It’s not only about leading by example or being their role-model – we must be their cyber-mentor. © Sue Scheff

CYBER-MENTORS Online Behavior Digital Resilience Being Upstanders Young people not only need mentors offline – they need us to be there for them online – especially with the majority of them digitally connect. We have adults – parents, teachers, celebrities, athletes and especially politicians online today – acting badly, and it’s sending the wrong message to young people. I will discuss 3 ways we must mentor our kids online to help them choose kindness when they are faced with adversity and trolling online. Improving our own online behavior – to prevent digital disasters & avoid those oops moments. Help teens develop digital resilience to prepare them for hateful content and harassment. Being upstanders which activates our empathy when we witness people struggling online. Helping teens choose kindness starts with us! © Sue Scheff

Part 1. Improving Our Online Behavior 3-C’s of online behavior Conduct Content Caring 5 Ways to rethink how we share online Sharing too much Emotional sharing Sharing inappropriate material Constructive sharing Know your audience Part 1 of becoming a Cyber-mentor. Let’s review ways we can improve our online behavior and it’s all grounded in the foundation of “civility.” 3-C’s – Conduct, content and caring. 5 Ways to rethink how we share online – since it’s not only what we share – but how we share it. © Sue Scheff

Part 2. 5 Ways to Build Digital Resilience Being forewarned is being forearmed. Prepare them for the ugly- side of social media. Show how to report abuse. Online is not always reality. Critical thinking. Encourage offline socializing. Part 2 of becoming a Cyber-mentor. Teens may always be app ahead of you but they will always need your wisdom that doesn’t come with technology. Building digital resilience is crucial to help them handle online hate - as well as choose kindness and compassion when faced with difficult choices. © Sue Scheff

Part 3. Being Upstanders Don’t perpetuate hate. Reach out to people struggling. Digital you (reflection). Part 3 of becoming a Cyber-Mentor. Being an upstander is someone who recognizes when something is wrong – online – and acts to make it right. Especially as a Cyber-mentor – we must be socially responsible online to support those that are struggling. “How do you handle online cruelty?” © Sue Scheff

Cyber-Mentor Wrap-Up Part 1. Online Behavior 1. Conduct, content, caring. 2. Rethinking how we share online. Part 2. Digital Resilience Prepare for the ugly-side. Report, flag and block abuse. Online is not always reality. Critical thinking. Helping teens unplug. Whether you are here for your teen or for your students – maybe you know young people that you mentor offline – that follow you online: Being a cyber-mentor is one way we can take this Shame Nation to a kinder one. 3-Ways – 1)Civility of improving our online behavior. 2)Developing digital resilience: Online hate & trolling may never completely go away, but armed with digital resilience & we are building stronger digital leaders. Educate teens to read become better reporters of online hate. Read TOS. 3)Stop the spreading of online hate. Reach out to people struggling & create #NiceItFoward Reflect on our own online behavior. Part 3. Being an Upstander Don’t perpetuate hate. Reach out to people struggling. Reflect on your own behavior. Helping teens choose kindness starts with us! © Sue Scheff