Odds and Ends Parenting Teenagers Relating to Your Kids as Adults The Joys, Opportunities, and Challenges of Being a Grandparent Learning to Work Well Together With Your Spouse in Raising Your Kids Going Through a Series of Fictitious Examples

Review of the Joys and Opportunities of Grandparenting In looking at the biblical data, we saw that: Like children, grandchildren are a blessing from the Lord (Proverbs 17:6a) Grandparents serve as a direct, personal connection between their grandchildren and significant events in the distant past. (cf. Exodus 10:1-2) Grandparents are often used by God to point their grandchildren to the gospel. (2 Timothy 1:5)

Review of the Joys and Opportunities of Grandparenting As a grandparent you get to experience many of the same joys that you had in parenting children, but without many of the downsides of parenting. Grandparents are sometimes in a better position to express sympathy and perhaps get a better hearing from the grandkids than the parents.

The Challenges of Being a Grandparent Challenge #1: You may end up not getting grandkids  There can be many reasons: Your kids don’t survive to adulthood. Your kids remain unmarried (1 Corinthians 7:28b-35). Your kids are unable to have kids. Your kids may choose not to have kids! You can try to prevent the last item from occurring by raising your kids in such a way as to see the value of having kids. But ultimately your getting or not getting grandkids is under the sovereign control of God.

The Challenges of Being a Grandparent Challenge #2: Your son or daughter could end up having your grandchild out of wedlock. No doubt you will raise your kids to value marriage and to try to avoid having kids out of wedlock, but sometimes it happens anyway, in spite of your best parental efforts. If your kid does give you a grandchild out of wedlock, you must make every effort to continue to love them and the child unconditionally. And part of that “unconditional love” will be to: As much as possible, make your son or daughter take responsibility for their own child. Avoid “rescuing” them in ways that may discourage them from taking personal responsibility.

The Challenges of Being a Grandparent Challenge #3: Taking an interest in your grandkids and making time for them. Any relationship requires time. If you’re going to have a relationship with your grandkids, you’re going to have to: Take an interest in them Try to connect with them Spend time with them, sometimes just the two of you being alone together.

The Challenges of Being a Grandparent Challenge #4: The generation gap. Because you are a generation away from your grandkids: Many of their day to day ways of doing things and looking at things can seem (or perhaps are) inappropriate and/or offensive to you. Many of your ways of doing things and looking at things can seem strange and/or outmoded to them. You have to first decide if the differences between you are a matter of: Morality (or Wisdom) Indifference (or Preference)

The Challenges of Being a Grandparent If you decide that a difference between you and your grandchild is a matter of morality (or wisdom) then: Choose your moment(s) carefully and try to persuade them. Be patient with them and give them time to process what you’re telling them. If you decide that a difference between you and your grandchild is a matter of indifference (or preference): You may want to discuss your thoughts with them and hear them out on what they’re thinking. But ultimately, you will need to accept them as they are and do all that you can to keep the difference(s) from becoming an issue in your relationship.

Questions About Grandparenting What do you think about the idea of raising your kids to value the idea of having kids? And, if you think it’s a good idea, how might you go about doing that? How do you think you will respond if your son or daughter has your grandchild out of wedlock? Assuming that you end up having grandkids, do you think you will have difficulty making them a priority? What are your thoughts about dealing with the “generation gap” that will be likely to exist between you and your grandchild?