I'm Not the Same Person Anymore: Coping with caregiver role changes

Objectives This session will help participants understand: The definitions of role changes, role reversal, role overload and role engulfment Why caregivers are susceptible to role-related challenges How to cope with role-related challenges

What do we mean by role changes? 1. We all take on different roles in our life that define our identity – mother, artist, cook, wife, sister, etc. When life situations change, we may add new roles or abandon others 2. Caregivers may find themselves having to adopt new roles, for example nurse or supervisor; these roles may overtake other parts of their identity Role changes are not the only role-related challenges faced by caregivers  Interview Questions: 1.How do you define role changes? 2.Are there other role-related problems experienced by caregivers?  

What is role reversal? 1. Role reversal refers to situations in which the caregiver and care-receiver taken on new roles that are often the opposite of what they are used to 2.This happens most often in cases of an adult children caring for a parent The caregiver may start to feel like the parent rather than the child, as a result of providing regular care and making decisions on behalf of parent Similarly, the parent may start to feel like a child as a result of being dependent Interview Questions: 1.We often hear about the term ‘role reversal’. How is this different than role changes? 2.Why does role reversal affect primarily adult child caregivers?

What is role overload? 1. Role overload occurs when the caregiver is juggling too many responsibilities and demands 2. The caregiver may feel pulled in too many directions due to the demands of each role – worker, caregiver, mother, friend, etc. Role overload often entails an increased sense of burden   Interview Questions: 1.What is role overload? 2.What happens when caregivers experience too many competing demands?

What is role engulfment? 1. Role engulfment occurs when the caregiver becomes completely absorbed in the caregiving situation, and other aspects of their identity become secondary Often the demanding nature of caregiving necessitates a certain amount of engulfment Interview Question: 1.In what ways is role engulfment different from role overload?

Examples of role-related challenges 1.An adult child caregiver feels uncomfortable about the idea of making financial decisions for her parent (role reversal) A spousal caregiver realizes that she now has to help her husband take a bath (role changes) A spousal caregiver stops going to weekly social gatherings because he is so focused on his wife’s care (role engulfment) An adult child caregiver finds herself feeling overwhelmed by any new demand (role overload)   Interview Question: 1. What are some practical examples that can illustrate the differences between all these role-related concepts?

Impacts of role-related challenges on relationships 1. Role changes can dramatically affect a marriage; the caregiver may feel that her spouse is more like a child than a full partner Role reversals have potential to make the caregiver and care-receiver uncomfortable, as they have to deal with new forms of dependency and intimacy 2. These challenges can also have a positive effect of making the caregiver and care-receiver feel closer Interview Questions: 1.How do all these role-related problems affect the relationship between the caregiver and care-receiver? 2. Are the impacts of these role changes always negative?

Impacts of role-related challenges on identity 1. The caregiver may not feel like the same person If the caregiver is experiencing role engulfment, she likely has less time for her own life and activities, especially social and leisure The caregiver may feel resentful that she cannot spend more time on their own activities, yet at the same time guilty if she focus “too much” on herself Interview Question: 1.How do role-related challenges impact on a caregiver’s sense of identity?

Strategies for coping with role changes 1. Notice and analyze each new role and demand – are you able to take this on? What are your capacities? It is ok to say NO to a new role! 2. If you feel that role changes are affecting your relationship with the care-receiver, talk to them about it. Maybe the two of you can develop coping strategies together Consider attending a support group or counseling; talking to others can help clarify your feelings and help you put a plan in place Interview Questions: 1.How can a caregiver cope with role changes? 2.Is it ever a good idea to talk to the care-receiver or can that make things worse?

Strategies for coping with role reversal 1. It is important to set limits if a task is making you uncomfortable (for example, giving your parent a bath) If you cannot perform a needed task, brainstorm other options. Is there another care provider than could fulfill this task? Take an honest look at your capacities and limitations. Everyone has different problem areas Interview Question: 1. Are there any strategies for dealing with role reversal?

Strategies for coping with role overload 1. Examine and re-prioritize all the various roles in your life – are there any you could let go of, or pause temporarily? Keep an organized agenda and make lists Determine whether there are any tasks you can “outsource” (for example, using a laundry or cleaning service) Learn to say no to any new demands that are not priority   Interview Question: 1. How should caregivers deal with too many competing demands from their various roles?

Strategies for coping with role engulfment 1. Try to do one small thing each day that is just for you (reading, meditation, walking, bubble bath); this can help remind you of who you are and what you life Try to maintain at least a few social contacts; these friends are necessary lifelines Remind yourself that your needs are important and that you are entitled to respite Interview Question: 1. What are some strategies that can help caregivers maintain their identity?

Conclusion Q&A session: Ask caregivers to share their experience with changing roles- how did their situation change and how did they cope. Summary: Highlight key points from session including feedback from caregivers. Promote: Encourage caregivers to participate in next tele- session Thanks to all attendees and speakers.