POSITIVE COACHING SCOTLAND CHILD FRIENDLY CONVERSATIONS It is important to remember that young people are not mini-adults and how parents speak to them must reflect this.   When communicating with young people parents must ensure they use: An appropriate tone of voice Language suitable to their age A speed of voice that they can understand Words that engage them It is important that parents effectively communicate with their children however, too often this means that parents talk and the child listens – it is better when children also talk and their parents also listen. Adopt a tell-me-more attitude Let your child know you want to hear what they have to say, and then listen – even if you don’t agree with it or like it. Use open-ended questions Some questions elicit one-word responses: “How was school today?” “Fine.” Ask questions that require longer, more thoughtful responses - “What worked well in the game?” or “What did you learn that can help you in the future?”

POSITIVE COACHING SCOTLAND CHILD FRIENDLY CONVERSATIONS Ask about life-lessons and character-building   Sport helps to develop your child physically, psychologically and socially and so it is important to relate what they have learnt in sport to other interests. You may ask a question like: “Any thoughts on what you’ve learned in training this week that might help you with other parts of your life?” Show you are listening Many children see their parents as their role models, make the effort to ensure you listen to them – this can have a huge impact on their confidence levels. Make it obvious you are paying attention through use of non-verbal actions such as making eye contact and nodding your head or making ‘listening noises’ (“uh-huh…interesting,” etc.). Let your child set the terms Forcing a conversation soon after a match, when emotions may still run high, is often less successful than waiting until the young person indicates they are ready to talk. Open-ended questions may prompt more substantive conversations, but they need not always be lengthy to be effective. Forcing longer conversations will lead to the young person avoiding them - and don’t be afraid of silence. Stick with it and the young person will open up. Rate this tool! Give us your feedback.