Introduction to Non-Violent Communication Listening and Responding

“My peace be with you.” Clip

The HeartMath Solution Step 1: Take a time Out Temporarily disengage from your stressful or negative thoughts Place yourself into neutral Step 2: Shift Your Focus Shift your focus to your heart Feel your breathing and inhale from your heart and exhale from your solar-plexus (area below your sternum)

Step 4: Decide on a Effective Action Step 3: Practice Appreciation Activate a positive feeling by drawing on feelings of appreciation and gratitude. Re-experience this positive feeling Step 4: Decide on a Effective Action After Shifting Your Focus and Practicing Appreciation, ask yourself what would be the best action to take? Step 5: Sense Change in Your Perception Sense the change in your perception and try to sustain it for a while

The head “knows,” but the heart “understands.

Creating a Pool of Appreciation

Act of Consecration to the Sacred Heart O Sacred Heart of Jesus, to Thee I consecrate and offer up my person and my life, my actions, trials, and sufferings, that my entire being may henceforth only be employed in loving, honoring and glorifying Thee. This is my irrevocable will, to belong entirely to Thee, and to do all for Thy love, renouncing with my whole heart all that can displease Thee.

Introduction to NVC In Marshall Rosenberg’s own words.

Components of Non-Violent Communication Observation The concrete actions or behaviors Feelings How I feel in relations to the observed behavior Needs The need, values, desires that create the feeling Request The concrete we request in order to enrich our lives

Non-Violent Communication Method Component Response Observation The concrete actions or behaviors Feelings How I feel in relations to the observed behavior Needs The need, values, desires that create the feeling Request The concrete we request in order to enrich our lives

Observing without Evaluating

Feelings: (1.5)

Are you Listening?

What is listening? Listening is the ability to accurately receive messages in the communication process Listening is key to all effective communication Listening is so important that many top employers give regular listening skills training for their employees. This is not surprising when you consider that good listening skills can lead to: better customer satisfaction, greater productivity with fewer mistakes, increased sharing of information that in turn can lead to more creative and innovative work.

5 Intents of Listening To Win To Persuade To Learn and Understand To Be Present To Be

Active Listening Hear What People are Really Saying Listening is one of the most important skills you can have. How well you listen has a major impact on your job effectiveness, and on the quality of your relationships with others. Given all this listening we do, you would think we'd be good at it!

Active Listening Skills Attending A: Eye contact B: Posture C: Gesture Paraphrasing Clarifying Perception Checking Summarizing Empathy

A good listener will listen not only to what is being said, but also to what is left unsaid or only partially said.

Non-verbal communications facial expressions tone and pitch gestures body language physical distance between communicators These non-verbal signals can give clues and additional information and meaning over and above spoken (verbal) communication

Communication Blocks

Using NVC to Listen Component Needs Observation Feelings Request The concrete actions or behaviors Feelings How I feel in relations to the observed behavior Needs The need, values, desires that create the feeling Request The concrete we request in order to enrich our lives

Empathic Listening Component Response Observation Feelings Needs What am I hearing? Feelings What are the feelings I’m hearing? Needs What is the need that is not being met? Request What request might I make, if I was in their place?

Listening with Giraffe Ears Media player 1.5.7:04 & 1.6

Using NVC to Resolve Conflict

Today’s Learnings What is the most important thing you learned today? What is one thing you will be able to use tomorrow?

References Childre, H.M & Beech, D. The HeartMath Solution (2000) Rosenberg, M. B. Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life, (2003) Center for Nonviolent Communication: cnvc.org All Clips downloaded from Youtube 11/2012