Revising – Cleaning up the MESS

M. E. S. S. Movability Expansion Slotting Sentence Combining & Varying

Movability Rearrange words, sentences, and even entire paragraphs Improve the “flow” Improve the organization

Expansion Have you answered Who? What? Where? When? Why? How? Have you told me, then SHOWED me, then explained SO WHAT?

Slotting E.B. White said, “It is nouns and verbs, not their assistants, that give good writing its toughness and color.” Slotting should start with nouns and verbs Quickly underline nouns and verbs, then look for opportunities to use a better (more precise) word

Sentence Combining & Varying Can you combine two simple sentences to make a compound or complex sentence? Can you vary the beginnings of some of your sentences by opening with phrase or dependent clause?

Slotting Practice My best friend told me a secret that I couldn’t tell anyone. The secret was so interesting that I couldn’t think about anything else. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to tell someone. I knew that if I told anyone else, my friend would not like me for a long time. I didn’t know what to do. The whole situation bothered me for a long time.

Because I did not study, I did not pass the test.