THE POWER OF FAILURE Deborah Gilboa, MD www.AskDrG.com
hap·pi· ness: noun good fortune; pleasure; contentment; joy INGREDIENTS: Confidence Competence Relationships
WHY DO ADULTS SAY NO?
CULTURE OF “SUCCESSFUL” FAMILIES Myth vs Truth
SOURCE: Journal of Child and Family Studies, Feb 2013
THE COST “Students who reported having over-controlling parents reported significantly higher levels of depression and less satisfaction with life. Furthermore, the negative effects of helicopter parenting on college students’ well-being were largely explained by the perceived violation of students’ basic psychological needs for autonomy and competence.”
HOW DOES FAILURE HELP? independence → confidence Leads to competence Builds relationship Teaches resilience. 7
RESILIENCE CHALLENGES Mistakes Accidents Pain Social consequences Judgment 11:00 News…
WHAT WOULD BE BETTER? Doing = learning. Doing builds resilience! Life skills Relationship skills Problem-solving! Look for chances to take one step back.
RESILIENCE “I’ll be interested to see what you do!” Mistakes Praise Life lessons Choices Risk-taking Resources! “I’ll be interested to see what you do!”
WHAT ADULTS NEED TO REMEMBER Adult involvement supports Safety Growth Learning Adult involvement harms Confidence Competence Relationships
Resilience requires trust. FINDING RESILIENCE Resilience requires trust.
Empathy without intervention.
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