December 9, 2016 Quickwrite: Write about a time when you or someone you know learned something that had a negative impact on your life (at least 5 sentences!)

Objectives You will examine score 4 compositions and compare them to your own benchmark composition by color coding so that you can identify strengths and weaknesses in your writing You will revise and edit draft #1 of your partner essay in order to improve your composition before submission to teacher

Commas (back) ______ 16. Exhausted from her tennis match, Zia rested before going to the concert. __C___ 17. I doubt that you will ever forget winning the game on April 2, 1999, nor will I. ______ 18. Although everyone else in his family was born in the spring, Ralph ever his own person was born in November. ______ 19. We’re not sure where the wildlife park is, what time it opens, or when it closes. ______ 20. Martha, please answer the telephone while I’m vacuuming.

Commas 22. __E___ Splashing in the pool, the children were enjoying themselves. 23. ___B__ Heavy, gray clouds filled the sky. 24. __F___ A landscape painting, by the way, is being sold at the museum today. 25. __C__ I really want to have ice cream for dessert, yet I am on a diet. 26. __A__ Do you want to go to Hawaii, San Francisco, or Boston. 27. C 28. D

Color-code Hook=pink Thesis=orange Circle transitions with pencil or pen Logical example (P,H,L)=green Emotional example (I)=purple Counterargument=brown Call to action=red WOW=circle in blue

Revise & Edit Partner Essay Look at the comments on your essay Click on them to see where the comment refers to and then make the change if you agree with it Review the yellow sheet, and make changes as needed Your revised essay is due by the end of the class period **If you and your partner finish, work on any of the SARs you are missing. Revise and edit those to make them into 3s**