Lecture 38

Achieving Happiness- 3

Quotes

Happiness, a state of joy, pleasure, goodness, or satisfaction.

Major source of happiness is in smooth relations with people, especially your spouse.

Need for Intimacy

According to the theory of need for intimacy, love is an experience seated in the non-rational side of the brain. People generally have a strong need for intimacy.

Harry Stack Sullivan’s definition love and affection is relevant here:

“When the satisfaction or security of another person becomes as significant to one as is one’s own satisfaction or security, then the state of true love exists.”

The Importance of Choosing a spouse Carefully

A study of 300 happy marriages revealed that the most frequently mentioned reason for such bliss was having a generally positive attitude toward each other.

Need for Intimacy According to the theory of need for intimacy, love is an experience seated in the nonrational side of the brain. People generally have a strong need for intimacy. Harry Stack Sullivan’s definition love and affection is relevant here: “When the satisfaction or security of another person becomes as significant to one as is one’s own satisfaction or security, then the state of true love exists.” The Importance of Choosing a spouse Carefully A study of 300 happy marriages revealed that the most frequently mentioned reason for such bliss was having a generally positive attitude toward each other.

Working Out Issues Within Relationships

Families face frequent conflicts Families face frequent conflicts. Suggestions for resolving conflict with spouses include the following:

1. Listen carefully and give feedback 1. Listen carefully and give feedback. (It is helpful to express feelings and show that you understand the spouse’s position.)

2. Use more positive behaviors than negative behaviors during arguments.

3. Define the real problem.

4. Don’t hit below the belt.

5. Be prepared to compromise.

6. Minimize an accusatory tone.

7. Use e-mail as a substitute for face-to-face confrontations.

8. Be agreeable when appropriate.

Working Out Issues Within Relationships Families face frequent conflicts. Suggestions for resolving conflict with spouses include the following: 1. Listen carefully and give feedback. (It is helpful to express feelings and show that you understand the spouse’s position.) 2. Use more positive behaviors than negative behaviors during arguments. 3. Define the real problem. 4. Don’t hit below the belt. 5. Be prepared to compromise. 6. Minimize an accusatory tone. 7. Use e-mail as a substitute for face-to-face confrontations. 8. Be agreeable when appropriate.

Meeting The Challenges Of Being A Two- Income Family

Double-earner families are increasing at a fast pace.

Minimize organizational support systems to reduce work-family conflicts.

1. Establish priorities and manage time carefully.

2. Deal with feelings of competitiveness.

3. Share big decisions equally.

4. Divide the household tasks equitably.

5. Take turns being inconvenienced.

6. Develop adequate systems for childcare.

7. Decide who pays for what.

Meeting The Challenges Of Being A Two- Income Family Double-earner families are increasing at a fast pace. Minimize organizational support systems to reduce work-family conflicts. 1. Establish priorities and manage time carefully. 2. Deal with feelings of competitiveness. 3. Share big decisions equally. 4. Divide the household tasks equitably. 5. Take turns being inconvenienced. 6. Develop adequate systems for childcare. 7. Decide who pays for what.

Keeping Your Relationship Vibrant

A. Keep warmth in the relationships

B. Hold Communication Sessions

C. Strive for Novelty in Your Relationship

D. Take an Optimistic View of the Relationship

E. Maintain a Non-possessive Relationship

Keeping Your Relationship Vibrant One of the major challenges in personal life is to keep a relationship with the spouse vibrant. Many relationships turn into routines and may be avoided. A. Keep warmth in the relationships Warmth in a relationship may not last very long but must be renewed and revived intermittently. B. Hold Communication Sessions One way to keep a relationship vibrant is to hold formal communication sessions in which you tell each other almost everything on your mind. Yet avoid damaging, hurtful thoughts. Brief communication sessions are particularly needed when you travel together because so many relationships take a turn while traveling.

C. Strive for Novelty in Your Relationship A little creativity can go a long way in enhancing a relationship. Try pleasant surprises to keep your relationship vibrant and fun. D. Take an Optimistic View of the Relationship Viewing your partner positively will often help the relationship to endure. E. Maintain a Non-possessive Relationship In emerging social environment, non-possessive relationship will be more successful. The non-possessive relationship is one in which both partners maintain separate identities and strive for personal fulfillment. Yet both partners are still committed to each other.