Stepping Forward Together 2019: Promoting Cultural Competence and Equity in Communities March 14, 2019

By Conor Isaiah Cleveland LIFE IN PRISON By Conor Isaiah Cleveland

Hello everyone, my name is Conor Cleveland. I have this problem. It is that people have been judging me my whole life. I have autism and cerebral palsy. I am not retarded. I hate that word.

Please listen to my words Please listen to my words. Ignore the humming, that is not the real Conor. My looks, sounds, and actions are part of this mask I am trapped in. You should see some of the looks I get. It makes me laugh sometimes. Many people have not been exposed to people like me, they just don’t understand.

I'm glad that my mother recognizes my true intelligence. I'm also glad I have people that fight for me. My facilitators of course are my greatest asset. Oh, what lifesavers.

I work with master trainer Harvey to communicate truely deep thoughts I work with master trainer Harvey to communicate truely deep thoughts. My body doesn’t look to be worked with to type, but we make a great team. Teaching my facilitators with Harvey has been wonderful for me. Ways to teach learning to support my typing movement is lovely.

Without typing I would have nothing Without typing I would have nothing. What a sad and lonely life it could have been. I have been typing for quite some time. I started in elementary school. I’m so glad I have this tool. Life would be pointless without it.

This is my dream. If only I live to see it. I like to joke around and make people laugh. I like to laugh. It is one emotion I can truly show. One day I hope the world will see me and my friends for who we really are. This is my dream. If only I live to see it.

The hardest part of my life is not being able to tell people that I'm not stupid. I always get looks or people talk to me like I'm deaf. I look this way only because it is hard to control my body. I make noises because I plead with my tongue to let the words out.

I'm nonverbal because I lost the connection between my mind and tongue I'm nonverbal because I lost the connection between my mind and tongue. I used to be able to talk when I was young. My favorite word was bird. I'm happy there is a way for me to communicate. I would go crazy without it.

Life is meant to be shared. Oh I pour out my heart Life is meant to be shared. Oh I pour out my heart. Friends make life worth living. People need to love and be loved. If only I heard it more.

During the day some things I enjoy doing are walking, it helps regulate my body. Writing poetry, to get my thoughts out. Swimming at the end of the day to relax my body, and I recently started going bowling with friends.

Poetry is my life. I can express my feelings through it Poetry is my life. I can express my feelings through it. I can express my voice. Painting is my life saving form of expressing myself, with earthy colors that blend on the canvas telling world I am here.

CHAOTIC, BEAUTIFUL LIFE a poem by Conor Isaiah Cleveland My mind is soaring, heart pounding. I see the light. It guides me to the depths of my soul. It’s happy but sad, angry but living, dancing but sitting. It’s torn between love and hate. What is my life and what is it coming too? A disaster or a fairytale. That is the beauty of the unknown. Not knowing what life may become. I’m no longer dreaming. Life is chaotic. Life is beautiful.

Hogwash You don’t see it. This soul does try. The body defies. Constant tug of war. You try to understand. You can’t imagine. I try to describe. I cannot fully explain. It’s called autism. I call it hogwash. I experience the autism. You get the hogwash. You see hogwash movement. Hear hogwash noises. Look at my hogwash movement. Half of my life is not real. But typing is my blood. I pour my heart into poetry. Oh yes. I pour it out. This is the real Conor. Ignore the hogwash. a poem by Conor Isaiah Cleveland

If I could speak I would say I love you all.