A LITTLE FLUFF IN YOUR EAR A Guide to Better Listening Presented by Martha Crawford, District 7 EEA Director Carrol Davig, District 11 EEA Director Created by Erika Bochat, CEA-FCS, Victoria County Adapted from “A Little Fluff in Your Ear,” Family Community Education Leader Lesson by Martha Crawford & Carrol Davig, C. 1999.

A LITTLE FLUFF IN YOUR EAR “If the person you are talking to doesn’t appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear”. This quotation comes from Pooh’s Little Instruction Book, inspired by A.A. Milne. This is to remind all of us to remove the fluff from our ears as we listen to others.

THE FOUR TYPES OF COMMUNICATION IS: 98% OF WHAT WE LEARN, WE LEARN THROUGH OUR EYES AND EARS 70% OF OUR WORK DAY IS SPENT IN COMMUNICATION TIME BREAKDOWN FOR THE FOUR TYPES OF COMMUNICATION IS: 9% WRITING 16% READING 30% SPEAKING 45% LISTENING

LISTENING IS: RECEIVING GIVING MEANING DECIDING RESPONDING

TEN WAYS TO REMOVE EMOTIONAL “FLUFF” TAKE NOTES LISTEN NOW, REPORT LATER LEARN TO WANT TO LISTEN BE PRESENT ANTICIPATE EXCELLENCE BECOME A “WHOLE BODY” LISTENER BUILD RAPPORT BY PACING THE SPEAKER CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONAL “HOT-BUTTONS” CONTROL DISTRACTIONS LISTENING IS A GIFT, GIVE GENEROUSLY

TEN STEPS TO CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONAL “HOT FLUFF” LISTEN AND DON’T INTERRUPT BE AWARE OF YOUR CHOICE OF RESPONSE ACKNOWLEDGE FEELINGS OF THE OTHER PERSON ASK OBJECTIVE QUESTIONS SEE THE OTHER PERSON’S POINT OF VIEW STICK TO THE SUBJECT BE PATIENT EXPRESS YOUR POINT OF VIEW EXPLAIN WHY WORK OUT A “WIN-WIN” PLAN

BE DETERMINED TO IMPROVE NOTICE SMALL CHANGES KEEP A RECORD ACKNOWLEDGE SETBACKS BE DETERMINED TO IMPROVE

“IF THE PERSON YOU ARE TALKING TO DOESN’T APPEAR TO BE LISTENING, BE PATIENT. IT MAY SIMPLY BE THAT HE HAS A SMALL PIECE OF FLUFF IN HIS EAR.”

“YOU CAN NOT TRULY LISTEN TO ANYONE AND DO ANYTHING ELSE AT THE SAME TIME.”

“EASY LISTENING EXISTS ONLY ON THE RADIO”

“THE BEST WAY TO PERSUADE PEOPLE IS WITH YOUR EAR – BY LISTENING TO THEM”

“INSTEAD OF LISTENING TO WHAT IS BEING SAID TO THEM, MANY PEOPLE ARE ALREADY LISTENING TO WHAT THEY ARE GOING TO SAY.”

“LISTENING IS AN ATTITUDE OF THE HEART, A GENUINE DESIRE TO BE WITH ANOTHER WHICH BOTH ATTRACTS AND HEALS.”

“IT IS DIFFICULT FOR ANYONE TO SPEAK WHEN YOU LISTEN ONLY TO YOURSELF

“IT IS THE PROVINCE OF KNOWLEDGE TO SPEAK “IT IS THE PROVINCE OF KNOWLEDGE TO SPEAK. AND IT IS THE PRIVILEGE OF WISDOM TO LISTEN.”

“OPPORTUNITIES ARE OFTEN MISSED BECAUSE WE ARE BROADCASTING WHEN WE SHOULD BE LISTENING.”

“SO WHEN YOU ARE LISTENING TO SOMEBODY, COMPLETELY, ATTENTIVELY, THEN YOU ARE LISTENING NOT ONLY TO WORDS, BUT ALSO TO THE FEELING OF WHAT IS BEING CONVEYED, TO THE WHOLE OF IT, NOT PART OF IT.”

“WE HEAR ONLY HALF OF WHAT IS SAID TO US, UNDERSTAND ONLY HALF OF THAT, AND REMEMBER ONLY HALF OF THAT.”

“WE ARE BLESSED WITH TWO EARS AND ONE MOUTH – A CONSTANT REMINDER THAT WE SHOULD LISTEN TWICE AS MUCH AS WE TALK.”

“LISTENING TO OTHERS’ STORIES CAN PROVIDE VALUABLE INSIGHT INTO THEIR CHARACTER.”

“THE BETTER YOU LISTEN THE MORE YOU LEARN HOW LITTLE YOU KNOW.”

“THE BETTER YOU LISTEN, THE LUCKIER YOU WILL GET.”

“WHAT WE HEAR ISN’T ALWAYS THE SAME AS WHAT’S BEING COMMUNICATED.”

“THE FAKE LISTENER CAN ONLY FOOL YOU IF YOU ARE NO LISTENER AT ALL.”

“THE MORE YOU TALK, THE LESSYOU LISTEN, AND THE MORE YOU TALK, THE LESS OTHERS WILL LISTEN.”

“THE BEST COMMUNICATORS ARE GOOD LISTENERS.”

“LISTENING IS A WAY OF TOUCHING AND BEING TOUCHED.”

“LISTENING IS A LITTLE LIKE MAGIC.”

LISTENING IS VOLUNTARY