Self discovery J W A Gerald

Self Discovery = Search your self Self = i ’m Discovery = re search

Self-concept: Picture or perception of ourselves Self Esteem: Feelings we have about ourselves Self-image: The way we would like to be

Self-Concept Circle The person I think I am. 2. The person others 3. The person others think I think I am.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs SELF ACTUALISATION Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs

Self-Esteem & Self-Confidence Self-Esteem: “What am I worth?” Self-Confidence: “What can I do?”

Self-Esteem Watch your thoughts, they become words Watch your words; they become actions Watch your actions they become habits Watch your habits; they become character Watch your character, it becomes your destiny

Tips for building Self Esteem Think positively , Set and achieve goals Do something challenging each day Look your best and Learn a new skill Do something for someone else Handle things one at a time Use criticism constructively Allow personal growth time each day Do not say negative about yourself Reward yourself often List your accomplishments each evening Volunteer to share your skills with others

Good Self Esteem

Effects of High Self-Esteem Like to meet new people. Don’t worry about how others will judge them. Courage to express themselves. Enriched with new encounters Forgive yourself for past mistakes. Focus on your positive attributes. Follow the example of successful people. Become a self talker

Self-Esteem Illustration

I’M NOT OK • YOU’RE NOT OK Life Positions I’M NOT OK • YOU’RE OK I’M OK • YOU’RE NOT OK. I’M NOT OK • YOU’RE NOT OK I’M OK • YOU’RE OK

I AM OK,YOU ARE NOT OK Attitude - i am always right Generally operates from high critical parent and rebellious child ego states

I AM NOT OK,YOU ARE OK. Quite submissive Less innovative Lacks risk taking responsibilities Operates mostly from compliant child ego

I AM NOT O.K,YOU ARE NOT O.K Most destructive life position Very low ‘Adult Ego’ Helpless, Depressed, Miserable, Suicidal, Lack of Confidence Do not trust others

I AM OK,YOU ARE OK High Emotional Intelligence (EQ) most healthy life position Express confidence in self and trust in others

Ways to Change Your self Life Positions Ways to Change Your self 1. Re-evaluating Your Basic Life Position. 2. Using Positive Reinforcement. 3. Managing Your Stamp Collection.

Clues To Life Positions Can You Give Strokes Gracefully? Ability to give compliments easily. Ability to listen to others. Ability to accept other views. Ability to treat others with respect.

Clues To Life Positions Physical Positions Shows confidence or compulsion. Relaxed or tense. Comfortable or ill at ease. Smiling or hard, sold look. Good posture vs slouching.

Life Positions I’m OK Jerk I’m You’re Not OK Not OK Loser I’m Not OK Winner I’m Not OK You’re Not OK Loser Sulker I’m Not OK

Choosing Your Life Position I’M NOT OK • YOU’RE OK I’M OK • YOU’RE NOT OK. I’M NOT OK • YOU’RE NOT OK I’M OK • YOU’RE OK

Transactional Analysis A method of understanding behavior in interpersonal dynamics. The three EGO states Parent Critical parent Sympathetic parent Child Natural child Adapted child Adult Complementary Crossed Ulterior

Transactional Analysis Complementary transaction Supervisor Employee P C A P C A P C A P C A

Transactional Analysis Crossed transaction Supervisor Employee P C A P C A P C A P C A

Transactional Analysis Ulterior transaction Supervisor Employee P C A P C A P C A P C A

Life Positions I’m OK — I’m OK — Attitude toward Oneself You’re not OK You’re OK I’m not OK — I’m not OK — Attitude toward Oneself Attitude toward Others Positive Negative Positive Negative

Change is hard!

Change “Any attempt to impose your will on another is an act of violence.”

Emphasize your strengths. Change what can be changed. Try new experience

Stages for Change Violence Up Talk Body Talk Feelings What Happened Before Values Attitudes Beliefs

CHANGE FOCUS, LOOK FOR THE POSITIVE Look for what is right in a person Be an Optimist

Self Image How you see yourself in your own eyes Self image determines what you get out of life Self image is the standing point of your life experience.

Building positive self Image. Like your self Trust your self Have SWOT Analysis (Self awareness) Accept your weakness and try to Rectify Set your Goals high (Always think Big)

Building positive self Image. Visualize your goals Translate your goals into Actions Challenge the Failures Perspire…. Persevere… till you reach the goals Celebrate your success.

Always think Big. Think beyond yourself Think beyond your Family Think I can..I will.. I must.. .

Accept yourself: Stop worrying about the things you can’t change. Try not to compare with others. Judge yourself in terms of your own growth

You become which you think about most.

No one can Make you feel inferior Without your Consent

Who has contributed to your self esteem?

Types of people People who make things happen. People who watch what is happening. People who don’t know what is happening.

People who make things happen Players Proactive

Assertiveness Confirming confidently, positively. To defend one’s rights or opinions, sometimes with unnecessary zeal. Chambers Dictionary “I won’t be able to handle it.” Others’ decisions Others’ attitudes Lack of self-belief Lack of clear intentions  - FEAR

Grounding Steady Reliable and dependable Do one thing at a time. Get information from sight, sound, touch and taste. Focused on the “here” and the “now”. Organized. Get the work done. Grounding

Creative Future focused - Visionary. Multi-task. “Go with the flow” attitude. What if, Why not? Dislike “status quo”. Great problem-solvers. Work “outside of the box”. Make decisions based on intuition. Creative

Logic If “A”, then “B”. Quantitative thinker Likes data, statistics, numbers and graphs. Focuses on the “past”. The more details-the better. Test to determine what is next. Set goals and measure progress. Logic

High Grounding / Creative / Logic Study habits Communication & listening Work behavior Motivations Stressors

Putting it all together! Grounding Logic Creative

Be A Winner In Life Choose... I’M OK • YOU’RE OK! J W A Gerald