Writing tips based on B1 Use those DIDLS!!! Use strong adjectives IDENTIFY!! and explain what the DIDLS is Be consistent with your thesis Highlight when you use the DIDLS and tone in your analysis (self-check) Many of you are leaving the tone out of your first piece of evidence!! Remember to internally cite and use slash marks

Outline for Tone + theme Claim/thesis – 1 sentence; include text types, titles, poet, 1 or 2 DIDLS, 1 tone word, and 1 theme * Remember; theme is a fully developed, arguable statement, not a single word. * Example: In the short story “Tell-Tale Heart” and the poem “The Raven,” Edgar Allan Poe uses sensory imagery and dark diction to create a desperate tone, proving loss causes inescapable grief. Background – 1-2 sentences; accurately describe relevant info about character/conflict/setting of TEXT #1 TCS Blended Lead-in to Quote #1 (cite) – 1 sentence; your words + the author’s words + MLA citation Analysis/Connection – 2-4 sentences; explain: 1) DIDLS connation/association/effect, 2) tone, AND 3) theme Transition + More Background – 1-2 sentences; accurately describe relevant info about TEXT #2 TCS Blended Lead-in to Quote #2 (cite) – see step 3 Analysis/Connection – see step 4 Concluding Statement – 1 sentence; re-word step 1 to summarize, but avoid repetition

Remember to use the DIDLS and tone! Lead-in w/ TCS to first evidence: However, after describing the entrapment of the bird and the pain and scars it endures, the speaker declares “And a pain still throbs in the old, old scars/And they pulse again with a keener sting –/ I know why he beats his wing!” (Dunbar). Explanation/Analysis/Connection: The use of exclamatory syntax shows the speaker railing (yelling) against the injustice of being confined. The speaker ends each statement with an exclamation point which further emphasizes that the speaker does not just understand how the caged bird feels, but he does so out of deep empathy. The resulting longing conveys a condemnatory tone towards the entrapment, as the speaker would rather clearly be free, just like the bird. The speaker is angry due to this confinement and being kept from freedom, and his condemning attitude thereby condemns being caged, as it causes physical and emotional pain to the victim.

REVIEW Outcome b, benchmark 2 = Thursday Grammar quiz = Friday - tone analysis,1 short story, 1 poem, 9 multiple choice questions, 1 paragraph Grammar quiz = Friday

CONSENSUS Work with a small group to come to an agreement on answers for the Grammar practice and the Gwendolyn Brooks Outcome B, Benchmark 2 practice. Don’t delete your original answer, but be sure to clearly mark your group’s choice as well. Be ready to share out your reasoning/justifications with the class! (popsicle sticks) PROSE = any writing that is not poetry (example: the short story on the practice is prose)

Outcome b, benchmark 2 practice # Answer EXPLAIN: How do you know this answer is correct? 1 A 2 C 3 4 5 6 7 B 8 D 9

1. In lines 4-6 of Brooks’ prose piece, the imagery reveals which of the following: An internal conflict between her reality and her dreams An internal conflict between loving and hating New York An external conflict between nature and industry An external conflict between the narrator and society

1. In lines 4-6 of Brooks’ prose piece, the imagery reveals which of the following: An internal conflict between her reality and her dreams She describes the things she loves about New York, and contrasts it with the fact she’s not there yet An internal conflict between loving and hating New York An external conflict between nature and industry An external conflict between the narrator and society

2. In the Gwendolyn Brooks prose section, which of the following lines best represents a shift in tone? “She was eighteen years old.” (Line 46) “She thought of them drinking their coffee there.” (Lines 30) “Not altogether, then!” (Line 44) “Then they went home quietly, elegantly.” (Line 40)

2. In the Gwendolyn Brooks prose section, which of the following lines best represents a shift in tone? “She was eighteen years old.” (Line 46) “She thought of them drinking their coffee there.” (Lines 30) “Not altogether, then!” (Line 44) This is when the doubt creeps in that her dreams may not come true “Then they went home quietly, elegantly.” (Line 40)

3. Considering the shift in tone in question 2, what is the theme of the prose piece? Daydreams cause people to make terrible decisions. People should leave home because it is a wonderful adventure. Societal limitations can cast doubt on the obtainability of dreams. It is more suitable to be content with one’s current situation rather than long for a better life.

3. Considering the shift in tone in question 2, what is the theme of the prose piece? Daydreams cause people to make terrible decisions. People should leave home because it is a wonderful adventure. Societal limitations can cast doubt on the obtainability of dreams. This is where the doubt creeps in It is more suitable to be content with one’s current situation rather than long for a better life.

4. In line 42 of the Gwendolyn Brooks prose piece, what does the word “dwell” mean? To live or reside To continue in a given condition To linger over or ponder in thought A period in a cycle in the operation of a machine during which a part remains motionless

4. In line 42 of the Gwendolyn Brooks prose piece, what does the word “dwell” mean? What she wanted to dream, and dreamed, was her affair. It pleased her to dwell upon color and soft bready textures and light, on a complex beauty, on gemlike surfaces. To live or reside To continue in a given condition To linger over or ponder in thought You can’t live in a dream, but you can keep thinking about it A period in a cycle in the operation of a machine during which a part remains motionless

5. Refer to both the first and eighth paragraph of the prose piece 5. Refer to both the first and eighth paragraph of the prose piece.  When describing New York, how does the author’s use of diction, imagery, details, figurative language, and syntax convey her feelings towards her dream? The author feels instantly connected to New York luxury; she is disconnected from poverty. The author feels the New York lifestyle is unsatisfactory; she feels more of a personal connection to poverty. The author feels her dream is an escape; she sees her reality as inevitable struggle. The author feels New York is her home; she is optimistic to move there one day soon.

5. Refer to both the first and eighth paragraph of the prose piece 5. Refer to both the first and eighth paragraph of the prose piece.  When describing New York, how does the author’s use of diction, imagery, details, figurative language, and syntax convey her feelings towards her dream? The author feels instantly connected to New York luxury; she is disconnected from poverty. The author feels the New York lifestyle is unsatisfactory; she feels more of a personal connection to poverty. The author feels her dream is an escape; she sees her reality as inevitable struggle. New York is always described positively The author feels New York is her home; she is optimistic to move there one day soon.

6. In lines 28-29 of Gwendolyn Brooks’ prose, how does the author’s use of details enhance the writing? It contrasts her present with her hope for the future. It describes her current setting. It alludes to her sense of identity and adds to the reflective mood. It uses an anecdote that presents a tense atmosphere.

6. In lines 28-29 of Gwendolyn Brooks’ prose, how does the author’s use of details enhance the writing? It contrasts her present with her hope for the future. So much of the piece is future orientated It describes her current setting. It alludes to her sense of identity and adds to the reflective mood. It uses an anecdote that presents a tense atmosphere.

To persuade the reader to visit New York 7. Look at lines 35-36 of Gwendolyn Brooks’ prose. Based on the description, what is the author’s purpose for writing these sentences? To persuade the reader to visit New York To portray New York living as elegant To emphasize her love for fur To contrast different types of New York voices

To persuade the reader to visit New York 7. Look at lines 35-36 of Gwendolyn Brooks’ prose. Based on the description, what is the author’s purpose for writing these sentences? Their host or hostess poured, smiling too, nodding quickly to this one and that one, inquiring gently whether it 35should be sugar, or cream, or both, or neither (She was teaching herself to drink coffee with neither). All was very gentle. The voices, no matter how they rose, or even sharpened, had fur at the base. To persuade the reader to visit New York To portray New York living as elegant She focuses on the fine things like fancy coffee, gentle voices, and fur To emphasize her love for fur To contrast different types of New York voices

8. In lines 1, 8, 11, and 12 of Gwendolyn Brooks’ poem, to whom does the “we” refer? The reader of the poem and the poet Everyone The poet and her family The poet and those who struggle with poverty

8. In lines 1, 8, 11, and 12 of Gwendolyn Brooks’ poem, to whom does the “we” refer? The reader of the poem and the poet Everyone The poet and her family The poet and those who struggle with poverty They are not well off

9. How does her usage of first person plural (collective “we”) contribute to the overall meaning of the poem? The poem becomes more intimate and emphasizes the prevalence of the problem. The poem becomes less emotional and loses a connection to her audience. The poem becomes contradictory in its feelings towards dreams. The poem becomes more narrowed and biased towards poverty.

9. How does her usage of first person plural (collective “we”) contribute to the overall meaning of the poem? The poem becomes more intimate and emphasizes the prevalence of the problem. She’s describing her personal life, problems, and how it effects her. The poem becomes less emotional and loses a connection to her audience. The poem becomes contradictory in its feelings towards dreams. The poem becomes more narrowed and biased towards poverty.

#10 – Prompt: After reading these two Gwendolyn Brooks passages, what is the overall tone of both pieces? After identifying the tone, explain how this impacts the theme of her writings. Respond in a well-written paragraph using one quote from each piece (two quotations total).

TONE/THEME SYNTHESIS Claim example: In her short story “Maud Martha and New York” and her poem “kitchenette building,”  Gwendolyn Brooks uses interrogative and exclamatory syntax to create a condemnatory tone toward poverty, revealing the constant struggle for basic needs impedes the pursuit of dreams. You must include: Both titles 1 or 2 tone devices (DIDLS) – based on evidence (1 quote from each text) Both text types 1 tone (same attitude toward same subject - comparison) Author’s name 1 theme (message about subject)

Example: Claim: In her short story “Maud Martha and New York” and her poem “kitchenette building,”  Gwendolyn Brooks uses interrogative and exclamatory syntax to create a condemnatory tone toward poverty, revealing the constant struggle for basic needs impedes the pursuit of dreams. Background: The prose piece describes vividly the beauty and glamour the speaker perceives New York City to have. She believes that the luxurious and polished life of New York is how everyone should live. However, toward the end of the piece, the speaker realizes that she is still very far away from achieving her dream since she is currently impoverished. Lead-in w/ TCS to first evidence: For example, the speaker explains that dreaming of New York is her way of escaping reality, but questions, “Besides who could safely swear that she would never be able to make her dream come true for herself? Not altogether, then! ---but slightly? – in some part?” (Brooks, prose). Explanation/Analysis/Connection: The use of interrogative syntax shows the speaker questioning herself and her ability to achieve her dream. Although she is infatuated with New York, these questions show her insecurity with her dream. The contrast between these insecure questions and the glittery descriptions at the beginning of the piece show the author’s condemnatory tone toward poverty as the presence of those insecurities appear as an even larger let-down in contrast to her prior excitement. The speaker is clearly frustrated by the realities of poverty as it keeps people from obtaining their desired hopes.

Peer edit paragraphs Switch papers with the person behind you: 1. ) Does the claim/thesis include: the titles of the works, the author’s name, a DIDLS device, a specific (& correct!) tone and an arguable theme? Comment! How could your peer make this stronger? Is anything missing? 2.) Next, read the background summary. Is it relevant? Any important details missing? 3.) Does their first quotation include a proper lead-in with transition, ACTUAL context (not “the author says” or “later in the story”), and speaker? Is there a correct citation? Is the quote an example of the DIDLS device, tone, and theme mentioned in his or her claim? 4.) Analysis: Does your peer explain the effect of the device at that moment in the text? Does your peer explain common associations with the example? Does your peer explain how the device conveys the tone? Does your peer explain how the tone reveals the theme? 5.) Repeat #2, #3, & #4 for quote #2 6.) Is there a concluding sentence? Does summarize the main points while avoiding repetition? 7.) Overall, does your peer use 3rd person, present tense? Does he or she use vivid word choice and proper grammar? Did he or she avoid contractions? Circle any issues.

Part 2 : Revising using feedback Pass back the paper to its original owner. Share your suggestions for how to make his or her writing stronger. Take some SILENT time to independently write a second draft making suggested improvements.

Finish your extended response You have now written an awesome half of an extended response—now finish it! On your own, add your next lead-in to evidence, and analysis/explanation. Transition, Context, Speaker, “------,” (Brooks). Effect of device Tone Theme