Relationships

Stage 1- The Sparkle (Infatuation) To begin this relationship you must be open and vulnerable One feels positive about him or herself with increased self worth. The person seems perfect for you You cant seem to see enough of each other. Any lack of attentention brings anxiety, fear of rejection and jealousy.

Stage 1- The Sparkle (Infatuation) Ones individuality may be lost and sacrificed to this early relationship. You don’t see the other person’s faults This stage is an important part of beginning a good relationship and is the first step toward mature mutual acceptance

Stage 2- The Disillusionment Begin to see the other person’s faults Become irritable or competitive with one another Involves disenchantment, thinking “maybe they aren’t as perfect as I thought”. One of the following will happen Can come to grips with the imperfections Withdrawal of affection and the end of relationship

Stage 2- The Disillusionment This stage is inevitable. Knowing your core (crucial) issues, methods of resolving conflict and positive communication techniques will help the relationship into the last stage

Stage 3-Mutual Acceptance (Mature Love) See and accept the shortcomings of the other person. Can be ourselves and feel secure without jealously Can exchange strengths Can be venturesome and spontaneous Affirms self worth

Stage 3-Mutual Acceptance (Mature Love) Most frequently a relationship ends in the first stage or when the disillusionment begins. Realizing that our self-image should not be destroyed because a relationship ended is important. Instead, deal with the grief of an ended relationship and work to make the next relations even better!

3 Components of Relationships Intimacy Feelings of closeness Connectedness Grows steadily at first then tapers off Experienced with family, friends, lovers

3 Components of Relationships Passion Drives that lead to romance, physical attraction, and sexual interaction. Intense desire to be with the loved one. Develops rapidly in relationships and levels off

3 Components of Relationships Commitment The decision that one cares for another and wishes to maintain the relationship. Increases gradually at first and then grows more rapidly as the relationship develops.

Specific Types of Relationships- Sternberg Non-Love Absence of all three components The relationship we have with acquaintances Friendship Contains intimacy The first type of relationship we experience outside our families

Infatuation Empty Love Passion without intimacy or commitment Love at first sight Preoccupation with the other person Seesawing emotions Empty Love Commitment without passion or intimacy Often seen in the final stage of a relationship In arranged marriage it may be the beginning

Romantic Love Fantasy Love Intimacy as well as passion First experienced in adolescence Romeo and Juliet type of relationship Fantasy Love Involves passion and commitment without intimacy Portrayed on TV and in movies Unlikely to last without the stabilizing effect of intimacy

Companion Love Complete Love Contains intimacy and commitment Basically a long term friendship Complete Love Exists when all three components of the triangle are present Achieving this type of relationship is difficult Once achieved, much effort is required to sustain a special relationship