How to Get the Behavior You Want… Without Being the AdultYou Hate!

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Presentation transcript:

How to Get the Behavior You Want… Without Being the AdultYou Hate! Deborah Gilboa, M.D.

YOU NEED A PLAN 1. Pick a behavior. 2.Decide on consequences. 3. Meet as a family. 4.Stick to it!

Methods: CHANGE “HOW- TO” Key ingredient: CONSISTENCY. Distraction Separation Non-response Losing privileges Contracts Key ingredient: CONSISTENCY.

3 R’s of PARENTING Respect Responsibility Resilience

RESPECT Tone of voice. Titles of respect. Eye contact Body Language Secret Code Negotiating Parental privacy 3 sentences; amazing results!

RESPONSIBILITY Chores Homework Practice Community service One work ethic; 2 sentences

RESILIENCE CHALLENGES Mistakes Accidents Pain Social consequences Judgment 11:00 News…

WHAT WOULD BE BETTER? Doing = learning. Doing builds resilience! Life skills Relationship skills Problem-solving! Look for chances to take one step back.

RESILIENCE “I’ll be interested to see what you do!” Mistakes Praise Life lessons Choices Risk-taking Resources! “I’ll be interested to see what you do!”

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