Bellwork: What are the five senses that contribute to sensory details? Label each of these sentences with the appropriate sense: The sudden flash of white light blinded me. The aroma of fresh baked cookies softly tickled my nose. I shivered, the frosty air stinging my lungs.

Using sensory details in your writing Showing, Not Telling Using sensory details in your writing

Biographical Essay In your essay you are to follow the following standard: Writing Standards: 1. Narrate a sequence of events and communicate their significance to the audience. 2. Reveal elements of the character’s traits through specific actions, speech, movements, gestures, thoughts, and/or feelings (including dialogue and interior monologue).

Sensory Details in Writing When to use sensory details: Autobiographical essays Biographical essays CAHSEE/SAT narratives Personal statements for college “A good writer creates a picture for the reader. Good writers don't just tell, they show the reader what is happening.”

Examples of Showing, Not Telling I missed the bus. = You are just telling your reader what happened. Or you could show your reader what happened by including details such as: Just as I turned the corner, the bright-yellow school bus pulled away from the curb and I could see my friend Johnny frantically waving at me through the back window.

Another Example of Showing vs. Telling Close your eyes! Telling The boy was very frightened. Showing The boy screeched in terror and threw his hands up to protect himself. Even though his legs felt like they had turned to jelly, he jumped to his feet and tried to get out of the monster’s reach.

Try with a partner: The baby loudly cried. REMEMBER: Keep the subject the same but ADD sensory details that appeal to either: Sound Sight Touch Taste Smell

“Showing” an Image Telling: The sun was setting. Showing: The fiery orange ball of the sun began to lower itself in the sky, casting its brilliant light on the glassy surface of the river.

Try it with a partner: Telling: I walked through the outdoor market.

Showing, Not Telling Activity In your groups of four: Rotate the whiteboard to each person. Each slide will have a sentence or image. Your group must create or revise the sentence into a “showing” sentence. Take turns writing your group’s new “showing” sentence on the whiteboard.

Showing, Not Telling Activity MAKE SURE TO WRITE SENTENCES CLEARLY Your group will get five minutes to create a perfect sentence After five minutes, we will put up the boards and choose the best “showing” sentences! Best group = Superstars!!! 

Format: Slide # Group Sentence: Winning Sentence:

Slide #1 I looked out the window, searching for my dad’s car.

Slide #2 The girl who would be my best friend sat across the table.

Slide #3 The bus I was riding on was crowded but I noticed him right away.

Slide #4

Slide #5

Now, let’s look at your own essays! Take a look at your own essay Identify: Where are some “telling” sentences that you could “jazz up” using sensory details? HIGHLIGHT at least five!

Ticket Out the Door Choose 1 of your five highlighted sentences. Write down the original sentence. Then rewrite it, making sure to “show” and not just “tell” in your new sentence.