November 2, 2017 Entry task: What is the difference between love and infatuation? Do you think infatuation can turn into love? Why? Target: Identify differences in expectations between boys and girls

What is Infatuation? INFATUATION LOVE Love grows over time Known under many circumstances Learn all characteristics of the person Other person centered INFATUATION Happens suddenly Under one circumstance Know only a few character traits Self centered

What is Infatuation? Only for one person Face problems and try to solve them Physical attraction is a small part Endures Can wait for marriage More than one person Problems are glossed over May be based only on physical attraction Doesn’t want to wait for anything May end suddenly Seen as deprivation

Seven Predictors of a successful relationship Dating for at least one year Financial stability Able to set up a household Having full time employment for a minimum of six months

Seven Predictors of a successful relationship Personal stability No alcohol or drug abuse No jail record or on parole Parental approval Two sides- which to choose?

Seven Predictors of a successful relationship Similar attitudes about birth control and children Similar life goals, religious, and ethnic backgrounds

Seven Predictors of a successful relationship Ability to communicate feelings and ideas and the ability to make mutual decisions. Able to solve problems.

Seven Predictors of a successful relationship Dating for at least one year Financial stability Personal stability Parental approval Similar attitudes about birth control and children Similar life goals, religious, and ethnic backgrounds Ability to communicate

Danger signs of Improper Dating Relationships When we value our date’s opinion more than the opinions of our parents or older, wiser friends (i.e. friends, parents, pastors, teacher you respect) When our Personal Standards are laid aside while in the presence of our date When we cease wanting to be with others and want to be exclusively with our date all of the time

Danger signs of Improper Dating Relationships, cont. When we habitually date people much older than ourselves When we attempt to justify the lowering of our sexual standards

Facts Breakups are harder on men #1 reason for male suicides Communication is #1 reason for divorce Divorce rate for first marriages in America are 41% Men and women are different Why

Here’s Why Men mask their pain, women deal with it right away and get over it. Research indicates that men depend on romantic relationships for emotional intimacy and social support, whereas women are more likely to turn to family and female friends to satisfy those needs. Men hate starting over to get and they miss the comfort of a loved one. Women often take care of men

Key Concepts for the day! List the differences between love and infatuation and list as many predictors of a successful relationship that you can remember. After two minutes, share your responses with a partner and “complete” your list.

Prevalence of Teen Dating Violence 1 in 5 high school girls is physically or sexually hurt by a dating partner. Girls and Women 16-24 highest rates 1 in 3 teen experience some kind of abuse in their romantic relationships 1 in 3 teen reports knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched kicked, slapped by a partner 45% of teen girls know someone who has been pressured or forced into having sex Teen males-as well as females- experience dating violence

Warning Signs Extreme Jealousy Constant put-downs Telling the other person what to do Explosive temper Threats Possessiveness Preventing the other person from doing what he or she wants to do. Severe mood swings Making false accusations about the other person History of violence Isolating the other person from family and friends Seeking financial control over the other person

What is Teen Dating Violence? Teen dating violence is a pattern of physically, sexually, verbally, and/or emotionally abusive behavior in a dating relationship

What is Teen Dating Violence? Physical Abuse Any Intentional unwanted contact with the other person’s body. Physical abuse does not have to leave a mark or a bruise. Examples: Scratching Choking Kicking Using a Weapon Pulling Hair Biting Pushing Burning Shoving Strangling Punching Slapping Pinching

Sexual Abuse Any sexual behavior that is unwanted or interferes with the other person’s right to say “no” to sexual advances. Examples: Unwanted kissing or touching Date Rape Forcing someone to go further than he or she wants to Unwanted rough or violent sexual activity

Verbal/Emotional Abuse Saying or doing something to the other person that causes the person to be afraid, have lower self-esteem, or manipulates or controls the person’s feelings or beliefs or behaviors. Examples Name calling and put-downs Insulting the person or his or her family or friends Yelling and screaming Threatening violence or harm Making racial slurs about the person Making unwanted comments of a sexual nature to the person.

Verbal/Emotional Abuse Continued… Embarrassing the person in front of others. Spreading negative rumors abut the person Preventing the person from seeing or talking to friends and family Telling the person what to do. Making the person feel responsible for the violence/abuse. Stalking Harming (or threatening harm to person’s pets.

Verbal/Emotional Continued… Making the person feel guilty about leaving the relationship by talking about the abuser’s hard life and how alone and abandoned the abuser will feel if left. Threatening to commit suicide Threatening to expose personal information about the person (e.g., sexual orientation, immigration status) Threatening to take away the person’s child or children.

Roles in Dating Violence Abuser: A Person who physically, sexually, verbally or emotionally hurts an intimate partner. Target: A person who is hurt physically, sexually, verbally or emotionally by an intimate partner Bystander: A person who is aware that someone is being abused in a dating relationship. The bystander may become aware of the abuse through the abuser’s or the target’s actions or words.

Notes During the video… Write down 15 warning signs of improper dating