Positive Discipline vs. Reality Therapy Lyndi King Union University M.Ed. Program

Recent Research for Positive Discipline Recent research tells us… that children are “hardwired” from birth to connect with others, and that children who feel a sense of connection to their community, family, and school are less likely to misbehave. To be successful, contributing members of their community, children must learn necessary social and life skills. Positive Discipline is based on the understanding that discipline must be taught and that discipline also teaches.

Positive Discipline is not… Letting students do whatever they want without consequences Allowing students to “run the show” without proper guidance Making all the choices for students

Positive Discipline is… called an “encouragement model” for classroom management. It is a program designed to teach young people to become responsible, respectful and resourceful members of their communities. Allowing students to have control over their own education Allows students to make choices in regards to their education and their consequences

I really wish my teachers knew that when they encourage me to do my best and make my own choices, it impacts me for a lifetime.

Positive Discipline Video What the experts say…. Positive Discipline Video

Positive Discipline Tools Mutual respect.  Adults model firmness by respecting themselves and the needs of the situation, and kindness by respecting the needs of the child. Identifying the belief behind the behavior. Effective discipline recognizes the reasons kids do what they do and works to change those beliefs, rather than merely attempting to change behavior. Effective communication and  problem solving skills. Discipline that teaches (and is neither permissive nor punitive). Focusing on solutions instead of punishment. Encouragement (instead of praise). Encouragement notices effort and improvement, not just success, and builds long-term self-esteem and empowerment.

Recent Research for Reality Therapy Theoretical Foundation People have 2 basic needs that primarily drive behavior: the need to love and be loved the need to feel that we are worthwhile to ourselves and others We must be involved with other people, at the minimum at least 1 person who cares about us and who we care about 

Reality Therapy is… An educational process to learn more successful ways of meeting needs. Using as a guide the 3 R's: 1) responsibility 2) reality 3) right and wrong

The three R’s Responsibility- believes that individuals are responsible for everything they do. We are responsible for own life, behaviors, & consequences of behaviors Reality- There is a real world within which one must work to fulfill needs. Right and Wrong- there is a standard or norm against which behavior can be compared. Illegal or wrong behavior indicates the client wants something else to happen.

We can ask three Basic Questions What do you want? Do you want to change? If you changed, how would your life be better? What are you doing? Describe the last time you had a good laugh. What were you doing? Describe the last time you had fun with someone else. What did you do? Is your behavior helping or hurting you? (Is it working?) Did you enjoy having fun? Describe it. How would more variety and fund help you?

Positive Discipline Vs. Reality Therapy means helping a child develop self-control and a sense of limits, experience the consequences of his/her behavior, and learn from his/her mistakes. The goal is not to punish but to teach your child to take responsibility for his/her actions and exercise self-control of his/her behavior to help individuals meet their psychological needs for belonging, power, freedom, and fun. These goals are met in such a way that they do not infringe on the needs of others. The focus is on responsibility and choices.

Positive Discipline Vs. Reality Therapy means helping a child develop self-control and a sense of limits, experience the consequences of his/her behavior, and learn from his/her mistakes. The goal is not to punish but to teach your child to take responsibility for his/her actions and exercise self-control of his/her behavior to help individuals meet their psychological needs for belonging, power, freedom, and fun. These goals are met in such a way that they do not infringe on the needs of others. The focus is on responsibility and choices.

Effective Techniques Positive Discipline Reality Therapy Pick your battles Say ‘yes’ if possible Catch your child being ‘good’ Selectively ignore misbehavior Apply consequences when necessary Share your reasoning with your child Call for a break Choice and Responsibility Reject Transference Focus on the Present Use the three R’s of reality therapy on a daily basis

Which one will I use? I think that these two theories are fairly similar in how they deal with students positively. I think that while I will use the positive discipline model, I like pieces of the reality therapy model as well. I plan to use the 3 R’s from Reality therapy as well as the “past is in the past” motto as well I will incorporate these within the positive discipline model.

Sources Glasser’s Reality Therapy/Control Theory Glasser, W. (1986). Control theory in the classroom. New York: Harper and Row. Glasser, W. (1975). Reality therapy: A new approach to psychiatry. New York: Harper and Row. Glasser, W., (1969). Schools without failure. New York: Harper and Row. Glasser, W. (1992). The quality school: Managing students without coercion (2nd ed.). New York: Harper-Collins. Glasser, W. (1993). The quality school teacher: A companion volume to the quality school. New York: Harper Collins. http://web.calstatela.edu/faculty/jshindl/teaching/Week%208%20Social%20Contract.htm http://www.pbs.org/parents/talkingwithkids/positive_discipline_tips.html