Jaclyn Skalnik, LCSW Adoption Wellness

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Presentation transcript:

Jaclyn Skalnik, LCSW Adoption Wellness Grief & Loss: Adoption Jaclyn Skalnik, LCSW Adoption Wellness

Objectives This webinar will: Address the social definition of “grief” Outline the different stages of grief within the adoption constellation Identify the feelings and emotions oftentimes associated with adoption Provide suggestions on how to best support children that are experiencing grief related to adoption

Definition of Grief Deep and poignant distress caused by or as if by bereavement … Death Suffering Deep sorrow -Merriam-Webster Dictionary

How do YOU acknowledge grief? -reach out or pull in? -ceremonies -bereavement -social support -community involvement -discussions with children -physical pain

Stages of Grief 1. Denial -Biological Parent(s) 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance -Biological Parent(s) -Adoptive Parent(s) -Adopted Child(ren) -Who else might be affected?

Grief Triggers Divorce Moving Illness or death of a loved one Intrusive questions Illness or death of a loved one Anniversaries Pregnancy/Birth of a child Divorce Control Dating Changing schools Moving Financial hardship Holidays

What does grief look like? In a child… Sadness Anger Quietness Hyperactivity Distractibility Withdrawal Anxiety Sleep issues Changes in eating habits/weight gain or loss Struggles for control Struggles for trust Social life changes Physiological

What can we do as adoptive parents? For ourselves: Identify, acknowledge and process our own “junk” Create and utilize our own social support Seek therapeutic resources Be comfortable within ourselves to know our boundaries and limitations For our children: Listen and validate our children’s words and actions Always be truthful and never create false information Encourage journaling Create and maintain a Life Book Identify an adoption competent therapist Connect them with others

Adoption is complex; it is a concept that begins with profound loss … and the rest is about learning to manage the grief while celebrating the joys.