Meeting Emotional and Independence Needs Parenting Meeting Emotional and Independence Needs

Heredity and Environment Heredity provides the foundation for personality—temperament. Inherited traits can be reinforced or changed by what happens to a child in life. Environment provides the life experiences and attitudes of our personality. Personality traits are caught, not taught.

Your Personality Consists of all the things that make you a unique individual. Many are inherited from your parents. You developed other characteristics as you grew up. You can acquire new characteristics for the rest of your life.

Heredity or Environmental? It is often difficult to discern between heredity and environmental factors because your parents, from whom you inherited certain characteristics, are usually the ones who created your environment!

Is it Inherited or Acquired (Environment)? Your potential height Your attitudes Your gender/sex Your courtesy and dependability Your physical resemblances to ancestors Your desire to succeed Your fears and problems Your enthusiasm Your manner of speech Your ability to make decisions Your eye color Your initiative (doing things on your own) Your color blindness/lack of Your morality/values Your physical coordination Your honesty Your tendency to baldness Your ability to get along with others

Inherited or Acquired cont. Your neatness Your personal appearance Your punctuality Your sense of humor Your tact Your eating habits Your blood type Your self-control Which do you think has more effect on your personality, heredity or environment? Why?

Self-Esteem Self-Image: the way you view yourself (self-concept) Positive—see their strengths Negative—see their mistakes Self-Esteem: positive self-image leads to a positive self-esteem or having positive feelings about themselves. They enjoy who they are and what they are capable of.

Building Positive Self-Image and Self-Esteem Be accepting Correct misbehavior Criticize the behavior, not the child Offer praise appropriately Too much may have a negative impact. The children may not believe you over time, they may not think what they do is so great.

Offer help tactfully Commend effort, not necessarily achievement Allow healthy risks and mistakes Avoid comparisons Encourage participation Model appropriate self-esteem Give children time, attention and respect

How is positive feedback important in helping children develop emotionally?

Emotional Needs: Affection Children need affection to thrive. Love and affection feels good and help in all areas of growth Failure to Thrive-unmet social/emotional needs Parents teach a child appropriate ways to show affection. Positive expressions: hugs, kisses, praise, kind words, kind deeds. Empathy: the awareness of other people’s needs and feelings.

Emotional Needs: Fear Positive emotion when it drives children from dangers and to protection. Children fear new experiences because of lack of knowledge. Positive modeling and information prevents many common fears.

Imaginary Fears Active imagination—can’t tell the imaginary from the real. Help children see the difference between imagination and reality—give them information to help eliminate fears. Responding/Role modeling in a controlled, comforting and reassuring way helps bring security.

Emotional Needs: Anger Parents influence how children learn to handle uncomfortable emotions. What do you do when you are angry? How do you react to anger in other people? How do your parents act when angry? Are there similarities between your reactions?

Eight Great Anger Busters Model anger management. Show respect. Give them words to express their anger. Identify with their pain. Set positive limits. Redirect energy bursts. Avoid power struggles. Provide a cooling-off period.

Difficult Emotions: Jealousy In early childhood Jealousy is over parent’s attention and wanting to spend time with the parent. Later Childhood Jealousy over peers who may seem to have more “things. “Life” is not fair! Sometimes one child may get something & the other child wont. Avoid comparisons, let them know they are loved just as they are.

Difficult Emotions: Stress Growing up is hard—1st day of school, doctor appt, moving, new sibling—everything rocks your world! Children also sense difficulties and emotions in a troubled family.

Difficult Emotions: Stress Reducing Children’s Stress Reassuring them Talking Listening Spending time with them Cut down on schedules that are overloaded!

Difficult Emotions: Stress Helping Children Manage Stress Role model stress management skills—calmness and reassurance teaches children how to manage stress. Have children get plenty of sleep. Talk and Listen—encourage communication, offer a distraction activity.

More Difficult Emotions Separation Anxiety- Begins around 9 mo. To 1 year Usually passes in a few months Negativism- Opposition, another way toddlers express their growing independence. Usually decreases by 3rd birthday.

Emotions that may become problems Anxiety— strong feelings of worry and fear Common for most children Extreme when it interferes with everyday life Eating Disorders— Most cases develop between the ages of 11 and 13. However signs of negative body image are developing in younger and younger children. About 42% of girls in first through third grade would like to be thinner, and over 80 percent of 10 year olds are afraid of being fat. Why? Anorexia nervosa—Bulimia nervosa. What is the difference? Depression— What is the difference between sadness and depression? How can parents tell whether a child’s unhappiness is due to depression rather than some other cause? It is a medical problem that requires professional help. Why are some reluctant to get help?

Emotional Development by Age Infants Basic Emotions: Contentment Joy Sadness Anger Fear

Toddlers Preschoolers Emotions: Contentment, joy, sadness, anger, fear See things from their own view; understand only how a situation affects them. Preschoolers Emotions are extreme—learning to share and take turns.

School-age children: Less self-centered, emotions more under control Parents must be available to listen and must be approachable.

Adolescence: Known as “the second toddlerhood” Physical changes causes mood swings Learning to manage independence, responsibilities and new emotions.

Building Independence Brainstorm a list of tasks that Preschool children/School-age children/Adolescence might be able to handle on their own. Preschool School-age Adolescence

What can I do to promote my child’s independence? Value-Guided Parenting Family Vision and Goals Caring Rather Than Caretaking Setting Boundaries Family Leadership Honor Differences in children

As parents, we are to be working our way out of a job!