Things you MUST accomplish today: Read and evaluate essays on website Edit your own essays for grammar Optional: Have someone else edit your essay for STP, imagery, and connotation Double check the rubric! Homework: Bring FINAL draft of essay to class on WEDNESDAY (A-Day) and THURSDAY (B- Day!)

Open the documents and evaluate them using the rubric I gave you

Quick recap in your WRITING section: What score did you give the essays? Why? What thoughts do you have about their effectiveness? Why? Will you change anything about your essay AFTER evaluating them? Why?

Take your rough draft and look for these grammatical concerns (they are hyperlinked!): Sentence fragments Introductory clauses without punctuation Independent clauses joined without proper punctuation Sentence Variety You Is, Are, Was, Were, Am, To Be If you included dialogue, some punctuation notes

Sentence fragments Carefully go through your sentences (I always recommend going BACKWARDS so you’re looking at EACH SENTENCE individually) Does every sentence have a subject and a verb (Is something or someone doing all of the action? Does each subject have an action?) If they don’t, FIX THEM! Dialogue doesn’t count. If you included a fragment INTENTIONALLY, be sure you can explain WHY that STYLE is important to your PURPOSE.

Introductory clauses without punctuation Look through your sentences for key adverbs like: after, although, as, because, before, if, since, though, until, when, during etc. The phrase IMMEDIATELY following these words needs to be separated from a comma from the REST of the sentence. (key: if you can move the phrase to the end, that’s where you put your comma)

Introductory clauses without punctuation, Cont’d Also, some other key phrases to be on the lookout for as you edit: To stay in shape for competition, athletes must exercise every day. (introductory infinitive phrase, main clause) Barking insistently, Smokey got us to throw his ball for him. (introductory participial phrase, main clause) A popular and well respected mayor, Bailey was the clear favorite in the campaign for governor. (introductory appositive phrase, main clause) The wind blowing violently, the townspeople began to seek shelter.(introductory absolute phrase, main clause) After the adjustment for inflation, real wages have decreased while corporate profits have grown.  (introductory prepositional phrases, main clause)

Independent clauses joined without proper punctuation Look through your paper for independent clauses joined together in one sentence (they both have a subject AND a verb) There are three options for joining them: Period – shows that they are two independent ideas Semicolon – shows that they are related but two independent clauses Comma plus conjunction – shows that they are related and uses a FANBOYS (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so) to show relationship – YOU ONLY USE A COMMA when there are two INDEPENDENT clauses. If you don’t introduce a subject, don’t include a comma!

Sentence Variety Look through your paragraphs. If you have to, underline the first three-four words of each sentence. Are they varied? Do you repeat the same structure over and over again (such as I walked, I saw, I smelled)? If you do, consider varying your sentences with introductory clauses (see earlier slide for ideas)

You Eliminate them. Double check. SERIOUSLY.

Is, Are, Was, Were, Am, To Be Check your essay. If you have a digital copy, use the CTRL + F command to find them. Take it down to FIVE (5). SERIOUSLY.

Dialogue punctuation notes Make sure your dialogue looks like this: “I am tired,” she sighed. “It isn’t just one day,” I told her, “It’s five days.” Randolph responded, “Yes, Julie. I think so.” CHECK YOUR PUNCTUATION + CAPITALIZATION. IT SHOULD LOOK LIKE THIS!

Final Concerns: Read your opening line or two. Are you interested? If not, what can you change to grab the reader’s attention? Have you written the paper as one gigantic paragraph? If so, CHANGE it. Think about the PURPOSE of each section. Organize your paragraphs by the PURPOSE they serve in your story (like, introducing the background, flashback, concluding thoughts, details, rising action, etc.) Is this something you are proud of having written? If not, what do you need to do to FIX that before you turn it in to me next class?