Interim 1 Feedback My favorite mistakes 

Mistake #1: Lack of Capitalization Don’t need to worry about capitalizing “I” since it shouldn’t be in your essay No first or second person in the essay! Names of people (proper nouns)! Martin Luther Names of races, languages, nationalities! Spanish, European Names of historical periods/events! Slave Trade Names of Places! Africa

Mistake #2: Lack of Citations Introduce and Cite your quotes… According to Luther’s Table Talk, “…” (Document 15.1) Equiano describes life on the boat by saying, “…” (Document 14.1) or (Equiano, pg ___) In the visual source 14.5c, one can see the way African slaves were dehumanized as they were referred to as “cargo”.

Mistake #3: Lack of Analysis Explain the purpose, point of view, and reliability of the source/evidence – SOURCING Explain how your evidence connects to other events/people/themes in history (time and space) – MAKING CONNECTIONS Explain any significance or uncanny information (gaps, exaggerations, ignorance, context, etc.) in the evidence and how it relates to thesis - CLOSE READING/INQUIRY AND INFERENCE Explain how your evidence corroborates (agrees and disagrees) with other sources especially in terms of answering the prompt (not just summarizing) – CORROBORATING Explain how your evidence supports/proves/illustrates your argument – LINKS TO THESIS (MAKING THESIS CENTRAL)

Mistake #4: Misunderstandings Prompt asks you to state who is responsible for the tragedy (the deaths, the conditions slaves lived and traveled in, etc.) Africa established the trade for POWs and criminals Muslims and then Europeans monopolized the trade and started to make agreements with African merchants to kidnap free citizens and even nobles African Kings tried to speak out against it and re-negotiate terms with the Europeans…this did not work. (14.3 and 14.4) and 14.1 discusses the treatment of slaves which is VERY different from how Europeans treated them. While African Kings may be responsible for establishing the trade and inviting Europeans in, it is inaccurate to place sole responsibility on them without acknowledging Europe’s role.

Mistake #5: Not Turning in the Rough Draft!! Those who were here Friday and didn’t turn it in… Missed out on feedback to improve essay Can still turn in the essay for credit Tuesday by midnight on Edmodo. Those who were absent on Friday… Can turn in a draft Monday by midnight on Edmodo and I can give feedback Final draft is still due on Tuesday by midnight whether you get feedback or not

Edit and Revise – Use the Resource Wall! Those of you with feedback Read through it carefully! Use the resource wall for to fix highlighted areas Accuracy Analysis Technical Structure Style If you still have questions, let me know. Those of you without feedback, look at the Interim assignment from Friday and get to work on competing a final draft for Tuesday by midnight.