Chapter 3 The Decision to parent

QUESTION What expectations do you have about parenthood? Are they positive, negative or realistic? Please explain…

The decision to parent The decision to parent is one of the most significant events that can occur in a person’s life. WHAT INFLUENCES PARENTING DECISIONS? Desire to express marital Love Desire to be parents Expectations about children: Realistic expectations Understand the pros and the cons Pressures from family and friends Desire to influence the partner

Factors to consider …….before parenting! Your Goals: Short term and long term goals Individual vs. couple goals vs. parenting goals (pg 57) Impact of Careers: Dual-career family? Stay at home parent? Impact of Finances: children cost A LOT! “What It Costs To Raise A Child” pg 60

Readiness for parenthood Are YOU ready? Is your PARTNER ready? THE MARITAL RELATIONSHIP: Is our marriage strong and secure? Are we willing to work to keep our marriage the primary relationship in our lives? How well do we communicate? Do we generally agree or disagree?

Readiness for parenthood continued Acting With Responsibility: Mature enough to understand what children need Be able to guide children Able to make sacrifices for children Acceptance of Lifestyle Changes Maturity of Parenting: see Erikson’s stage 7 (appendix A, page 594) Knowledge about Parenting: Do you have realistic expectations about parenting?

YOUR AGE AND HEALTH Biologically for women, the ages between 20-32 are considered the best for childbearing. Do you eat healthy? Do you stay away from harmful habits NO SMOKING!!!!! NO DRINKING!!!! Are you getting prenatal care? Are you genetically predisposed to passing on a congenital disease? Some couples do not have children because of serious health issues, or predisposition to inherited genetic disorders

High risk parenting Teen Parenting Delayed parenthood (over 40) Health risks Social and emotional problems Education and career risks Financial risks Delayed parenthood (over 40) Biological risk factors Financial and emotional stress Grandparents Raising Children Half of children who live with grandparents are under 6 Results from 4 D’s: drugs, divorce, desertion, or death

DECISION MAKING See page 68 and 69 SPECIAL RISKS FOR TEENS AND THEIR BABIES handout

WARM UP QUESTION Ann and Eric have been married for three years and want to have a child. Ann is an architect and Eric is a lawyer. They both have high goals for their careers. They both plan to continue working after their child is born. They realize some challenges may arise. 1. What type of challenges might Ann and Eric face? 2. What can Ann and Eric do to overcome these challenges?