It’s good to talk

When was the last time you had a conversation with somebody and felt truly listened to? How did you know you were being listened to? What passes as conversation is often shallow What passes as listening is less about engaging with the other and more about responding, taking the conversation in a certain direction, giving advice etc……more about my need to be heard than my desire to listen

Inability to have conversation affecting every area of life

We seem to have forgotten how to do it Conversation Connection Discussion We seem to have forgotten how to do it

What am I seeing in our District What am I seeing in our District? How is this impacting our connection with the community inside and outside the church ?

Past 6 years as Evangelism Enabler Inherited/FX/tension Set up FX Listening to others Delivering MSI/MSM

Something I have noticed People will try different missional projects, but they still don’t know how to talk about faith/politics/sexuality/subjects on which they wholeheartedly disagree Actually most people don’t know how to have conversations about life, the universe and everything ‘Appropriate table conversation’ Don’t know what to do with folk in Messy Church Polarised, confrontational….exploding conversations…faith…..cafe church and mosques…. Seem to be re-creating the rut we are in…… ‘beige conversation’ Something I have noticed

Ageing well event Listening for understanding not response What is it like to age well in a Christian community? A cautionary tale How might they have approached that question differently?

Group 1 only the man (2 women and 1 man) spoke and didn’t give the feedback point which the group had agreed, but his own ‘opinion’ Group 2 all talked over each other Group 3 defiantly refused to enter the conversation as they were against the idea Group 4 said they didn’t understand what was being proposed Group 5 one person started to give the feedback and then was hijacked by another voice who went on a personal broadcast about the lack of provision for young people Group 6 wanted to know what would happen if homeless people came in and helped themselves to coffee, who would pay?

Breaking every rule without knowing Directing Judging Blaming Getting aggressive Moralising Advising Humouring Interrogating Breaking every rule without knowing

And then there are our overt evangelism attempts……

Church working on local mission ‘When we have built up a relationship with people we will tell them about Jesus’ ‘What will you tell them?’ ‘Jesus loves them and died for their sins’ ‘What does that mean?’ Silence How will you talk about faith in your new coffee lounge?

The echo chamber…….

When it comes to talking about spirituality we use a particular model…….

My poor parents….

Why did you cringe?

We are still using some ‘dodgy’ methods….. More sermons about hell Manipulated conversations Jesus is the product, you are the sales force…… We are still using some ‘dodgy’ methods…..

What’s the model of evangelism you are familiar with?

We seem to think there is a script

Is there a set script? Is it really only creation, fall, salvation, heaven? It’s only good news if it’s good news to the other person….industrial revolution Why heap ‘sin’ on people….? Facets of the story Can we agree? Do we need to agree? What is important to you? Would it help if we were less reliant upon the script? One way conversation…’I know something you don’t know’ Agenda driven….

We don’t really know how to engage people from the outside How many new people have come into your church in the past month? If not, why not? What about Messy Church/Café Church? How do you take people on a faith journey from these places?

Engaged curiosity….the new skill for evangelists Start from a desire to meet something of the incarnationally divine in everybody Educational model Open new spaces of curiosity and respect in encounters where We enable people to explore life, living and experience of encountering God Engaged curiosity….the new skill for evangelists

Recognise that people are keen to talk about spiritual things God is alive and active in the lives of ordinary people and they have treasures to share, may not use our inherited language Hold lightly to that which we believe in order for others to have the space in which to explore their own spirituality Feathers and faith Engaged curiosity

Christian Communities in Conversation www.ccic-sw.co.uk Jo Simpson District Evangelism Enabler Revd. Jon Doble Mark Davis Shoreline Conversations Christian Communities in Conversation www.ccic-sw.co.uk

To grow a new generation of people who are confident and excited about having spiritual conversations based on experiences of life, living and encountering God.

A small group of people who change culture and enable others to engage in spiritual conversation

At the heart of the project Came out of a Fresh Expression called ’Jigsaw’ At the heart of the project

CCiC CORE GROUPS

Which will take place in localities across the PEMD Locality groups

CCiC Core Process Groups SAFE: work hard to establish a set of rules for conversation which manages the way in which we talk to each other…..buy-in FACILITATED: by a member of a CoP who has assessed competencies as a facilitator FOCUSED: using stimulus material, the purpose of the conversation isn’t to arrive at a conclusion but to share the wisdom INCLUSIVE: we all have wisdom and experience of God whether we use the same language or not….differing views, years of Christian training, simple statements….. SPIN OFF’S

These groups open space for conversation which is gentle and inclusive. It is our experience that by enabling people to be valued and listened to they grow in insight and confidence. Space which allows people to: Reflect on feelings, not knowledge or rigid statements of belief Encourage what we are calling ‘engaged curiosity’ Move away from agenda driven-conversation to engaged curiosity God in the experience of everybody

Spin offs Conversation not discussion: In areas of church life mmm Overcoming the top 3 struggles with evangelism: Superficial conversation Don’t know how to start a conversation What if they ask me difficult questions Providing an alternative to the inherited model of evangelism: Shadow of giants I know something you don’t know Knowledge the key 3 examples Lynne and the Bible study Richard and the homegroup Lyn and the workplace More contextually relevant: Educational model Empowering the laity to become leaders: The church of Acts The leaders of tomorrow won’t look like the leaders of today The churches of tomorrow won’t look like the churches of today

Thank you and feedback Jo Simpson evangelism@pemd.org.uk 07951 230 521 www.ccic-sw.co.uk Thank you and feedback