Technique Tuesday “Show, Don’t Tell” Hodge notes and observations from the first round: Choose your words wisely. Spiders don’t claw at you – why did you create a metaphor using this pairing of words? If you have a confident character why is she asking the waiter if she can order the eggplant parmesan? She should instead say “I will have the eggplant parmesan” Choose your organization wisely – why this detail first? And this detail last? You have one paragraph to get your reader to engage in the feeling of your character – make each word and emotions count for something! Pick 3 of the following examples – and write a paragraph that SHOWS instead of TELLS Lisa is a spoiled child. My mother/father is a wonderful person He eats a lot. The trip was fun. The streets were crowded. It was weird. The weather was bad/good. My dog is cute. She was sad. She changed.

Technique Tuesday “Show, Don’t Tell” Take out your completed work from yesterday’s class. Select ONE show that you think you needs the most help. This one will be shared with peers. Don’t be afraid to pick the worst one – it’s the one that has the most potential! In the first 5 minutes rewrite the one you’ve selected by following these steps carefully. Take out a clean, blank paper. Write your name in the upper right corner. Write the tell sentence in the top center of the page (where a title would go) Rewrite your paragraph neatly, skipping every other line. Pick 3 of the following examples – and write a paragraph that SHOWS instead of TELLS Lisa is a spoiled child. My mother/father is a wonderful person He eats a lot. The trip was fun. The streets were crowded. It was weird. The weather was bad/good. My dog is cute. She was sad. She changed.

GROUP Edit Your rows are your groups. You will each have 5 minutes to read a peer’s paper, edit, and then pass to the LEFT. When you get a new paper go through the following tasks, and provide your answers somewhere on the person’s paper: STEP 1: Read the paragraph. STEP 2: Underline any sentences that you think needs some work/revision. Something is just not quite right. STEP 3: [Put brackets around at least 3 words that you think could use work/revision] (they just aren’t that effective) STEP 4: Circle any sentences that you believe are tells, and not shows. STEP 5: Use any of my editor’s marks to edit their paper. STEP 5: Leave any final comments or suggestions. Do you agree with the organization? Did they fully describe the situation? Were you left feeling anything? Were you left not feeling anything? Did you like it? Is there anything they should consider?

Group Edit Continued Now that your paper has been looked at by several students, Read through the comments, recommendations. Take or do not take whatever advice was given. Rewrite a clean copy. Staple the clean copy on top, of the edited copy, and submit by the end of the period.