Conflict

Conflict Is... A disagreement resulting from incompatible concerns, goals or values. Influenced by perceptions, thoughts, values and emotions. Natural and inevitable in close relationships. Either positive or negative.

Conflict is Positive When It... Opens up discussion of issues, resulting in clarification. Identifies alternative solutions. Serves as a release of pent-up emotions, anxiety and stress. Builds cohesiveness among group members. Helps individuals to grow personally and apply their knowledge to future conflicts. Makes life more interesting. Is hard on the problem, easy on the people.

Conflict is Negative When It... Diverts energy from more important activities and issues. Destroys the relationship. Means no decision or new behaviour results and the problem remains. Reduces or destroys any level of trust. Divides people even more and polarizes groups. Results in debilitating emotional experiences. Is hard on people, and easy on the problem.

Keys to Resolving Conflicts Seek first to UNDERSTAND... and then to be UNDERSTOOD ASSERTIVELY achieve a WIN-WIN situation Be HARD on the PROBLEM and EASY on the PERSON

Approaches to Conflict Management

Adversarial Approach Conquest of one party over the other Each party sees the issue from own point of view Conflicts are personalized, rather than based on issues and facts Disputants are conflict oriented; animosity present Relationships are fractured or destroyed; total distrust

Negative Power Process Both parties choose to address certain aspects of the problem Disputants unwilling to examine problem from other points of view Usually short lived resolution; conflict resurfaces Division of resources or compromises to meet immediate positions Conflict avoided; underlying needs and feelings ignored

Principled Negotiations Energies used to defeat the problem rather than the other person(s) Open identification of the problem; “we” approach Define the problem in terms of mutual needs; cooperation and joint ownership of solution Acknowledge behaviours and feelings of others through active listening Relationships are strengthened through trust and respect No single right answer; offer choices and alternatives, personal empowerment and validation of strengths of everyone

Conflict Resolution Model Listen actively Empathize Ask open-ended questions and clarify Reach a mutually acceptable, win-win agreement or solution Next time follow up