Stress and Crisis in Relationships CHAPTER 14 Stress and Crisis in Relationships

Chapter 14: Stress and Crisis in Relationships Introduction Quote: Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. Natalie Goldberg, Wild Mind Discussion: What is the purpose of stress? What are advantages and disadvantages of stress? What are some common stress inducers for students? http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/stress-symptoms/SR00008_D

Chapter 14: Stress and Crisis in Relationships Chapter Outline Personal Stress and Crisis Events Positive Stress-Management Strategies Family Crisis Examples Marriage and Family Therapy The Future of Stress and Crisis in Relationships

Personal Stress and Crisis Events Stress is a reaction of the body to substantial or unusual demands Irritability, high blood pressure, and depression Crisis is a crucial situation that requires changes in normal patterns of behavior A family crisis is a situation that upsets the normal functioning of the family and requires a new set of responses to the stressor

Personal Stress and Crisis Events Sources of stress and crises can be external or internal Stressors or crises may be expected or unexpected Stress and crises are normal parts of family life http://www.ted.com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_make_stress_your_friend.html Mindfulness is awareness of the present moment. It’s living here and now. Through mindfulness, you are freed from becoming entangled in thoughts of your past, and you are freed from worrying about the future.

Positive Stress-Management Strategies Scaling back and restructuring family roles Changing basic values and perspective Exercise Friends and relatives Love Religion and spirituality Laughter Sleep Pets Deep muscle relaxation Education Counseling for children

Harmful Stress-Management Strategies Keeping feelings inside Taking out frustration on or blaming others Denying or avoiding the problem Men are more likely to use potentially harmful strategies Using alcohol Keeping others from knowing how bad the situation is

Resilient Families Key factors that promote family resiliency Positive outlook Spirituality Flexibility Communication Financial management Shared family recreation, routines, or rituals Support networks ABCX Model of Family Stress

Family Crisis Examples Physical Illness and Disability Extramarital Affair Unemployment Substance Abuse Death

Physical Illness and Disability Treatment options Physical effects following surgery Psychological effects following surgery Evaluation

Extramarital Affair Affairs are of different types, which may include the following: Brief encounter Periodic sexual encounters Instrumental or utilitarian affair Coping mechanism Paraphiliac affairs New love

Extramarital Affair In one study of undergraduate students 24% admitted to cheating on a partner 41% stated that a partner had cheated on them Perceptions of Dating Infidelity Scale (PDIS)

Reasons for Extramarital Affairs Variety, novelty, and excitement Workplace friendships Relationships dissatisfaction Revenge Homosexual relationship Aging Absence from partner Delayed negative consequences

Effects of an Affair Loss of trust Negative self-concept for the cheated on partner Loss of innocence Changing emotional attachment End of the relationship

Successful Recovery from Infidelity Recovery phases Rollercoaster Moratorium Trust Building Prevention of infidelity Loving, nurturing, and communicative relationships Avoid friends who have affairs Establish friendships with married couples who value fidelity

Unemployment American unemployment is around 10% Society expects men to be the primary breadwinners in the family Society equates masculine self-worth and identity with job and income A woman’s identity is less tied to her work

Substance Abuse Health and medical problems Legal problems Loss of employment Financial ruin School failure Divorce Death

Substance Abuse Stopping substance abuse Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD) medications Alcoholics Anonymous Al-Anon/Alateen Narcotics Anonymous

Death of Family Member Death of one’s child Death of one’s parent Can lead to relationship conflict and unhappiness Spouses need to be patient and practice tolerance in allowing both to grieve in their own way Death of one’s parent Chronic sorrow

Suicide “Permanent solutions to a temporary problem” Characteristics of people most likely to commit suicide 15 to 19 years old Homosexual Male Family history of suicide Mood disorder Substance abuse Past history of child abuse and/or parental sex abuse “Permanent solutions to a temporary problem” Survivors of Suicide

Marriage and Family Therapy Signs that a couple should consider therapy Feeling distant Not wanting to, or being unable to communicate with your partner Avoiding each other Feeling depressed Drifting into a relationship with someone else or having an affair Increased drinking Privately contemplating separation or divorce

Availability of Marriage and Family Therapists Around 50,000 marriage and family therapists in the U.S. Can be medical doctors, nurses, psychologists, social workers, professional counselors American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) Cost: $100-$125 an hour

Different Forms of Therapy Behavioral Couple Therapy (BCT) Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy (IBCT) Computerized Internet Therapy Telerelationship Therapy

Caveats about Marriage and Family Therapy Sometimes makes the marriage worse Saying things a spouse can’t forget Feeling hopeless at not being able to resolve a problem Feeling resentment over new demands a spouse makes in therapy Unrealistic picture from the therapist Not a quick and easy fix May have to miss work, pay for child care, and be “exposed” at work if using employer’s insurance policy

Quick Quiz A reaction of the body to substantial or unusual demands is called: resiliency crisis burnout stress Ans: D

Quick Quiz Stress is a: process crisis state reaction Ans: A

Quick Quiz Who is most adversely affected by a spouse's illness? the ill spouse the ill spouse's children the healthy spouse their parents Ans: C

Quick Quiz A law that allows for a spouse to sue a third party for taking away the affections of a spouse is called the: Coolidge Effect Alienation of Affection Extradyadic Involvement Palliative Care Ans: B

Quick Quiz Drug use is most prevalent among which age group? 12- to 17-year olds 18- to 25-year olds 26- to 34-year olds 35- to 40-year olds Ans: B