Communication Styles for Men and Women They’re Different:

We have all heard about how men and women think differently We have all heard about how men and women think differently. Some have said that the opposite sexes are from different planets. The truth is that it is there is much validity to this point. Men and women do think and see things differently. The cause for this is partly in the mind and partly in the biology of the sexes. Where does this all start? What are some of the manifestations of this phenomenon? Let’s explore the root causes of some of the greatest misconceptions and miscommunications in male/female relations.

Some of the major errors in communication between men and women begin because of fundamental differences in outlook of the different sexes. Men tend to see things in more logical systemized ways. Women tend to look for patterns based on feeling and intuitive knowing. While this is a generalization, it is most often true. There are, obviously, exceptions but empirical observation and study has shown that we can rely on certain general rules for how men and women see the world around them.

1. When men talk, it’s like reporting; they are giving information 1. When men talk, it’s like reporting; they are giving information. When women talk, they are trying to get information or establish some sort of connection or rapport. Women want to get information and understand people or situations. Men are trained to give report on status in a scientific and detached way. If not understood, this can cause a lot of conflict in a relationship.

2. Men love to talk about, and around, things 2. Men love to talk about, and around, things. For women, it’s all about people. Men are always talking about things. Women, on the other hand, are people-oriented. They hate to look at situations as being only about the things in the situation. Men should keep this in mind when communicating with women.

3. For men, the focus is facts and logic, areas where reason reigns 3. For men, the focus is facts and logic, areas where reason reigns. For women, feelings are critical. They focus on senses and meaning. Women almost always focus on feelings and meaning. Men are more fact and logic based. This can cause a lot of tension in relationship communication. Women need to feel that the conversation is about feelings, not facts. They also make generalizations based upon their feelings. These intuitions are not always right mind you. Men always use facts and their facts are not always addressing the underlying emotions in many situations.

4. Men love to compete, win and achieve 4. Men love to compete, win and achieve. Women love cooperation, conciliation, harmony and situations where people relate.

Men must understand that winning isn’t everything Men must understand that winning isn’t everything. Many men try to impress a woman by telling them how much they have achieved. Some men even brag about how many people they “beat out” to get where they are at. This may make men proud but it can often turn women off. Men need to be more sensitive to how a woman needs to have things communicated to them. Women need to realize that they can’t talk to men from a “soft” standpoint when they want them to understand. By phrasing things using a male style, even a sports metaphor, you can get a man to understand you much better.

5. Women know things by using their intuition where men know things by analyzing things logically and actually doing the figuring in their head or on paper. With intuition, you get answers from your heart or head that are not always logical. How many times has a man said, “It only makes logical sense” only to have the woman say, “It doesn’t make sense to me”.

6. Men are more assertive. Women are more cooperative. Some women would take great offense to this but it is true, in general. Women do try to solve issues in a more cooperative way. Men would rather argue and, if it came down to it, have a fight when all else fails.

7. Women empathize with communication partners more so than men 7. Women empathize with communication partners more so than men. Men need the communication partner to understand them. Men always want to be logically understood. It only makes sense…right! Wrong, if you are a women. You may seek to have empathy on the other party, rightly or wrongly

8. Men are highly logical and focus in on one thing well 8. Men are highly logical and focus in on one thing well. Women are holistic and thin about the big picture. It is harder for them to focus on a single task. Because of different focus styles, women and men approach life differently. Women are more holistic and broad in their focus. This drives men nuts. They see women as scatter-brained but, in fact, they are organized in a broad-focus, multi-tasking sort of way. Women may see men as narrow and too focused.

9. Men love structure girded up with rules and structure 9. Men love structure girded up with rules and structure. Order is the greatest value to many men. Women are more fluid in their approach. Women love a broad structure where creativity and communication rule. Men love the rule of law, rules that govern everything and not fickle human beings. Systems are built on solid rules, not wishy-washy, touchy-feely relationships. Women are more fluid and value an inflexibility that men just cannot, in most cases, work with. This makes women much or adaptable to new situations that arise in a change-based life or relationship.

10. Women feel their way through life; men think their way through. This is so true of most couples. The man is content to think he logically has control of things. The woman is going nuts because she realizes that the man has no flexibility. She needs to feel her way along and is turned off by a partner who over-analyzes everything. The man, on the other hand, thinks the woman is scatter-brained and much too emotional. He cannot relate to this and says so.

Communication is the most important element in a relationship Communication is the most important element in a relationship. If, however, you are communicating in wrong mode for the receiver of the message, you may be talking a lot and no one is listening. Ensure that you understand your partner and know what their needs are. Don’t take them for granted and let them know that you truly love them.