Don’t Forget Dad (For the Kids Sake)

Learning Objectives Describe how father involvement benefits children and mothers Identify the unique contributions that fathers bring to families Identify barriers that may keep fathers from being involved in their children’s lives Identify strategies for working with moms to help them understand the importance of fathers and help them figure out ways to involve fathers Identify strategies for engaging fathers in their children’s lives and for engaging fathers in home visiting

What is a Dad? Biological father Stepfather Grandfather Uncle Significant role model A positive male role model What ever their children may call them, Dads: Love their children Want to be involved Want the best for their children

Identifying “Dad” Learn how each family defines “family” Help each family work together to support the child

What is Father Involvement? Father involvement is the welcomed inclusion of fathers (biological, step dads, uncles, etc.) in your program. Displaying of father friendly posters & literature. Positive interactions with dads while they are in your building, class, home visits, bus etc. Seeing dads as “co-parents” instead of the "other” parent.

Some Common Barriers to Dads Involvement In Programs Staff attitudes. Lack of understanding of different parenting styles. Viewing fathers as just a “pay check”. Unrealized anger towards men in your own life.

Overcome Barriers in Involving of Dads Staff training Supervisory support (full support) Willingness to accept differences, adjust to them, and implement any useful changes. Personal attitude adjustments (including men) Adjust our expectations of men

Keep in Mind… Study after study have proven that a positive father/ father figure in a child’s life is critical to their development. It is also up to fathers/ father figures to step up and do their part.

Reflect Do we really want to involve males in our program? What ways can we reach Dads for inclusion? What ways can we make our dept. father friendly? In what ways do we already include Dads in our program?

What Does an Involved Dad Look Like? Spending time with his children Participates in daily routines Provides financial support Shares child care responsibilities Shares decision-making

Some Ways To Include Dads Special events/ activities sponsored by your center (field trips, parent meetings, etc..)

Child enrolment applications- (space for both parents, or gender neutral) Group connections (staff attitudes) Having dads do an activity with the children. Use of space for fatherhood meeting or activities.

Why Dads Matter Children need both parents! Children with involved dads are more likely to: Finish high school Attend college Find steady employment Have healthy relationships as adults Children need both parents!

Dads Matter Because Positive impact on child development: Social-emotional Cognitive Language Motor Skills

Impact on Social-Emotional Development Children with Involved Dads: Experience deep bonding and secure attachment Have great self-direction and impulse control Are more likely to better tolerate stress and frustration

Impact on Social-Emotional Development Are more resilient and playful Have better adaptive and problem-solving skills Have better emotional control, greater self-esteem, and more friends Dads are more likely to use delayed gratification as a motivator

Impact on Cognitive Development Involved Dads are more likely to: Promote their children’s independence and exploration of the world Play with familiar toys in new and unexpected ways Positively impact math and verbal skills Facilitate children’s problem-solving Stimulate children’s curiosity

Impact on Cognitive Development Involved Dads are more likely to: Engage in physical and recreational activities Devote more time to spontaneous and unstructured play Offer children choices Play “make believe”

Impact on Motor Development Dads’ rough-and-tumble play helps children: Explore their bodies’ abilities Learn to regulate their emotions Practice gross motor skills

Impact on Language Development Dads tend to: Use a more diverse vocabulary Ask more open-ended questions

Contributions of Dads Dad can use his own strengths and abilities to connect with his children Teach children about gender differences Provide a male role model Have a less predictable parenting style Challenge children to take acceptable risks

Benefits for Mom and Baby Better pregnancy outcomes and improved postpartum health More competent as a mother Greater financial security Less parental stress

Benefits for Dad When dad is involved prenatally: Begins to see himself as a dad He feels more connected to his child After the baby is born, dad will: Feel more satisfied with his life Have increased relationship stability Have his child’s love and affection Better health

Barriers to Dads Involvement Mom might act as gatekeeper Tension because of child support Domestic violence Incarceration

Cultural Humility Recognize the role of cultural values, beliefs and behaviors Create programs and interventions that incorporate those influences Treat fathers as equal to mothers Learn from each dad and family about their culture Ask open-ended questions Be aware of ethnic identification, religious influences, socio-economic status, age Be aware of your own biases

Engaging Dads in Their Children’s Lives Help dad identify ways he is a good dad Teach fathers about the importance of their role Encourage dad to take an active role Find out what dad is interested in Encourage him to share his interests, talents and skills

Engaging Parents in Shared Parenting Educate mom about the importance of dad’s involvement Encourage dad and mom to share parenting Encourage both to be actively involved with their children Offer referrals for relationship counseling

My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother: Hebrew Proverb THANK YOU Nick Corsi Parent Educator nickc@cdr.org 757-561-5478 cell