Continuation Writing Web 2018-4-19 ——Analysis and Assessment WZ No. 51 High School Web 2018-4-19

Task 1: Review the story

What should be written in these 2 paragraphs? Paragraph 1 I remembered too well the early years we had spent with my real father. __________________________________ __________________________________ Paragraph 2 When Leo, my mother, and I entered the courtroom, my real father was already present. _____________________

Paragraph 1 I remembered too well the early years we had spent with my real father. ________. Student A: My real father always looked after me carefully, although sometimes he would be strict. Student B: My real father left us, but Leo did much for us, so I considered Leo as my father. Student C: My real father worked too hard to be with our family, so mother decided to leave him. Student D: My real father drank, gambled(赌博) and beat my mother. Finally they got divorced. I was scared to see him in the courtroom.

My real father drank, gambled(赌博) and beat my mother My real father drank, gambled(赌博) and beat my mother. Finally they got divorced. I was scared to see him in the courtroom. I was learning what it meant to have a father. (Para. 2) I, who had previously spent the childhood watching other families do these everyday activities,…(Para. 4) I realize that Leo gave me what I needed most- the experience of doing ordinary things together as a family. (Para. 4) my real father- who hadn’t seen or supported my mother or me for more than five years (Para. 5)

√ ╳ Task 2: Enrich our story. 读后续写写作标准： 1.与所给短文及段落开头语的衔接程度； 2.内容的丰富性 Para. 1 I remembered too well the early years we spent with my real father. When I was little, he never did anything like a father. My mother just meant an ATM for him. He couldn’t plant, cook or drive me to school. Because of him, my mother and I moved into the old apartment. We hated him. (43 words) 读后续写写作标准： 1.与所给短文及段落开头语的衔接程度； 2.内容的丰富性 √ ╳ Give an example!

Para. 1 I remembered too well the early years we spent with my real father. When I was little, he never did anything like a father. My mother just meant an ATM for him. He couldn’t plant, cook or drive me to school. Because of him, my mother and I moved into the old apartment. We hated him. (43 words) Para. 1 I remembered too well the early years we spent with my real father. When I was little, he never did anything like a father. My mother just meant an ATM for him. One night, he returned late and asked my mother for money. She said he was a devil, and they had a terrible fight, while I was almost scared to death. He couldn’t plant, cook or drive me to school. Because of him, my mother and I moved into the old apartment. We hated him. (78 words) Tip: Enrich your story by adding a specific example.

Task 3: Try to evaluate the versions according to the standard Task 3: Try to evaluate the versions according to the standard. Give your reasons. 读后续写写作标准：(√/ ╳ ) Version 1 Version 2 与所给短文及段落开头语的衔接程度;   2. 内容的丰富性

Task 4: Rewrite paragraph 1 of Version 2. Paragraph 1 I remembered too well the early years we had spent with my real father. ⑴He fought my mother every night. ⑵He seemed to be always drinking and was addicted to nicotine. ⑶He never gave my mother and me a real family. ⑷My childhood is always desperate and awful. ⑸Our home never had smiles.

One possible version Paragraph 1 I remembered too well the early years we had spent with my real father. ⑴He fought my mother every night. As a result, I could always hear her crying in the restroom, which made me sad deep inside. ⑵He seemed to be always drinking and was addicted to nicotine. The most words from him were demands for money and curses. If he was not satisfied, nobody could feel secure. ⑶He never gave my mother and me a real family. ⑷Therefore, My childhood is always desperate and awful.

Homework Rewrite paragraph 2 of Version 2.

Thank you!