SIXTEEN

You put a cake in the oven At one end of the house Then you walked to the bedroom Where you passed out

Now the cake’s on fire As we pull into the drive Smoke pours out As daddy runs inside

I stand in the street And my hands, they shake There ain’t gonna be Any birthday cake

You didn’t die that day But it feels like you did Oh it feels like you did You’re still alive they say But you don’t wanna live Why don’t you wanna live? Because of me? Is it because of me? It’s a bitter-sweet sixteen

  You took a bottle of pills To take your life Guess you couldn’t bring yourself To celebrate mine

5 minutes later And you’d been gone for sure First thought in my head Was I wish we were

And I hated myself For thinking that way Think I still hate myself To this very day

I know you were sick I know I should forgive But I don’t know how To let this anger out

You didn’t die that day But it feels like you did Oh it feels like you did You’re still alive they say But you don’t wanna live Why don’t you wanna live? Because of me? Is it because of me? It’s a bitter-sweet sixteen

Was it so bad being my mom? Was it so bad you had to make it stop?

I’m older now I know it’s not about Me or my brother You had things to figure out

I believed that I Ruined your life That you didn’t wanna be A mother or wife

But you were locked in your room Pills in your palm Thinking that I Deserved a better mom

You didn’t die that day But it feels like you did Oh it feels like you did You’re still alive they say But you don’t wanna live Why don’t you wanna live? Because of me? Is it because of me? It’s a bitter-sweet sixteen

LIGHTHOUSE

The needle in my compass Says I’m too lost to be found Can’t find my bearing, sirens are blaring I’m desperate for dry ground

Cause the needle in my vein Is screaming it’s too late Line after line I need a higher high Oh God I took the bait

I’m lost at sea, can anybody hear me?

I’m drowning, I’m sinking I can’t find the love that I’m needing The darkness, it surrounds me It’s closing in around me I don’t know how I’ll ever make it out I’m looking for a lighthouse

The clouds are closing in now The skies are turning dark Can’t stop the tide, the waters are rising It’s gonna sink my heart

Last time was the last time But rehab didn’t work In my reflection all I see is rejection Just trying to numb this hurt

I’m lost at sea, can anybody hear me?

I’m drowning, I’m sinking I can’t find the love that I’m needing The darkness, it surrounds me It’s closing in around me I don’t know how I’ll ever make it out I’m looking for a lighthouse

Thought I had it all under control How’d I end up here at the end of my rope? I hit my knees, hands to the sky God if you don’t show up I’m gonna die  

I’m praying, believing The love of God is what I’m needing And His mercy, it surrounds me It’s closing in around me I never thought I’d ever make it out No I never would have ever made it out Think I found my lighthouse