Unit 3: Dimensions of Interpersonal Relationships Managing Conflict Unit 3: Dimensions of Interpersonal Relationships

What is Conflict? Conflict: an expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources, and interference from the other party in achieving their goals. Conflict is inevitable.

What is Conflict? Breakdown: Expressed Struggle: both people must know there is a problem or disagreement before it becomes a conflict. Perceived Incompatible Goals: as long as people see the solution from a win-loose perspective, conflict remains. Perceived Scarce Resources: conflict exists when people believe that there is not enough of something to go around. Interdependence: the welfare and satisfaction of one is dependent on the action of another.

Functional and Dysfunctional Conflicts Dysfunctional conflict: harmful conflict that often results in a win-lose outcome, damaging the relationship. Functional conflict: beneficial conflict resulting in the resolution of a problem and the strengthening of the relationship.

Functional and Dysfunctional Conflict Integration: “we are in this together” (problem- oriented). Cooperation: working together will leave everyone happy. Confirmation: using supportive behavior to tackle the problem without attacking the person. Dysfunctional Polarization: see the other as blameworthy. Opposition: “win-lose attitude”; hard to find solutions to satisfy both. Disconfirmation: using defensive behavior and attacking the person; focus is to dominate.

Functional and Dysfunctional Conflict Agreement: power is equally distributed. De-escalation: solve more problems than create in long run. Focusing: focused on one subject/problem at a time. Dysfunctional Coercion: using power to force the other to do what you want. Escalation: problems seem to grow larger instead of smaller. Drifting: “kitchen sink fighting”; bringing up issues that have little to do with the original problem.

Functional and Dysfunctional Conflict Foresight: relationship is more important that issue of dispute; pick battles wisely. Positive Results: opportunity to get to know and appreciate each other more; provides safe outlet for feelings and frustrations. Dysfunctional Shortsightedness: win battle but loose the war; will defend own solution to problem rather than a cooperative solution. Negative Results: threatens the future of the relationship and no one really wins.

Conflict Styles Avoidance (lose-lose): when people non assertively ignore or stay away from conflict. Accommodation (lose-win): when we allow others to have their own way other than asserting our own point of view. Competition (win-lose): seeks to resolve conflicts “my way”; one person wins at the other’s expense.

Conflict Styles Compromise (negotiated lose-lose): when both people only get part of what they want because they sacrifice some of their goals. Collaboration (win-win): each person gets what they want. Examplehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuVcSeqo-uA

Conflict Styles Which Style to Use? Factors The Situation: who/what is involved? The Other Person: what kind of communicator are they? Your Goals: what do you want to accomplish?

Conflict in Relational Systems Relational conflict style: a pattern of managing disagreements that repeats itself over time. Conflict Rituals: unacknowledged but very real repeating patterns of interlocking behavior. Conflict styles: Complementary: partners use different but reinforcing behaviors. Symmetrical: both people use same tactics. Parallel: shift between complementary and symmetrical depending in issue/situation.

Conflict in Relational Systems Intimate and Aggressive Styles Non-intimate- Aggressive: partners dispute without dealing with one another on an emotional level and aggression is expressed directly. Non-intimate-Non-aggressive: partners avoid conflict and one another. Intimate- Aggressive: partners argue and get along just as intensely. Intimate- Non-aggressive: low amount of attacking and blaming; prevent issues from interfering in the relationship.

Variables in Conflict Styles Gender There are some differences in in the two sexes in handling conflict, but individual style has more importance. Culture Individualistic vs. collective Ethnicity Self concept and family upbringing

Conflict Management in Practice Define your needs Share your needs with the other person Listen to the other person’s needs Generate possible solutions Evaluate possible solutions and choose best one Implement solution Follow up the solution