Lesson 35: Culminating writing task: revising your essay About this lesson Students continue engaging in the writing process to answer the prompt for the culminating writing task: What central idea or theme about human treatment of animals does The Call of the Wild convey? They review and revise a sample essay, give/receive peer feedback, and revise their essays.

We completed the first draft of our essays for our culminating writing task. The Writing Process Let’s Review! Teaching Notes Suggested Pacing: ~1 minute Directions: Briefly review the previous learning.

Revise our essays based on peer feedback. Today we will: Review a sample essay and analyze it against the culminating writing task rubric. Revise a sample essay. Revise our essays based on peer feedback. The Writing Process Let’s Prepare! Teaching Notes Suggested Pacing: ~1 minute Directions: Read the slide. Briefly explain how this lesson prepares students for another lesson and/or the end-of-unit assessments. Throughout the lesson, compare students’ responses and work to the student look-fors. Determine the students who need additional support with reading, understanding, or expressing their understanding of complex, grade-level texts. During this lesson or before the next lesson, support those students individually or in a small group using the Additional Supports for Diverse Learners.

The Call of the Wild by Jack London You will need: The Call of the Wild by Jack London Culminating writing task directions Culminating writing task rubric and highlighter Sample essay Your draft essay Let’s Prepare! Teaching Notes Suggested Pacing: ~ 3 minutes Directions: Distribute the text. Access a the culminating writing task directions handout, model essay scoring tool, and rubric scoring tool. Access and distribute the sample essay: body paragraphs handout. Ask students to locate their draft essays and any other materials they will want to reference during today’s lesson.

Review the culminating writing task directions. Let’s Read! Teaching Notes Suggested Pacing: ~ 1 minutes Directions: Remind students to review the culminating writing task directions handout as a way to reground themselves in the task and the purpose for their writing prior to reviewing the sample essay. Student Look-Fors: Students should read the culminating writing task directions.

Highlight the differences among the score points. Review the rubric to determine the expectations for the culminating writing task. Highlight the differences among the score points. Let’s Read! Teaching Notes Suggested Pacing: ~ 7 minutes Directions: Say to students: “We are going to work today to determine what makes a quality essay. Let’s start by reviewing the rubric scoring tool. This is what I am going to use to score your essays.” Ask students to follow the directions on the slide. Ensure that students look at all rows of the rubric at this point. The goal is to build a familiarity with the categories in which they’ll be assessed and the differences between a level 4 and level 0 response. After 5 minutes, ask students to identify key differences between a level 4 response and a level 0 response for each category. Use teacher talk moves so students [clearly express their ideas (Goal One) and listen carefully to understand others’ ideas (Goal Two). Possible Supports During the Lesson: As needed, explain the organization of the rubric. As needed, tell students they may not know what all the words mean yet, but they should be looking for the words that change between each score point. Student Look-Fors: Students should pay close attention to subtle revisions to language for each score point. For example, students should highlight, “full comprehension,” “comprehension,” “limited comprehension,” and “no comprehension” for Reading and Understanding Texts. Students should note the following: For Reading Comprehension and Written Expression, a level 4 response demonstrates a full comprehension of the text, with accurate analysis an ample evidence (vs. partial understanding or less robust evidence, for example). For Reading Comprehension and Written Expression, a level 4 response is organized logically, with cohesion and clear relationships identified between ideas and a formal style is maintained (vs. logical organization without relationships clearly explained or lapses in formal style) For Knowledge of Language and Conventions, a level 3 response has few errors related to language and style. The writer demonstrates command of the grammar and conventions standards.

Let’s Discuss! Teaching Notes Suggested Pacing: ~ 2 minutes Directions: Tell students that today they will review a sample response and analyze it against the rubric row, “Reading Comprehension and Written Expression” to clarify expectations and to prepare to revise their individual essays. Tell students that you will focus on the following aspect of this row: Is effectively organized with clear and coherent writing. Define the word cohesion for students by asking students to share their definition or by telling students that cohesion means the work forms a united, connected whole. In other words, it is clear to a reader how the ideas relate and connect to one another. Ask: “Why is cohesion important in writing?” Use teacher talk moves so students [clearly express their ideas (Goal One) and listen carefully to understand others’ ideas (Goal Two). Student Look-Fors: Students should listen to the directions and review the “Writing about Text” row. Students should share that cohesion helps readers understand the concepts and information being presented, and how they connect. It helps readers maintain focus because the ideas relate and connect rather than coming across as disjointed or tangential.

Compare body paragraph 1 with body paragraph 2. Which paragraph is stronger at using language to create cohesion and clarify relationships among ideas? Why? Let’s Discuss! Teaching Notes Suggested Pacing: ~7 minutes Directions: Tell students that before they engage in peer feedback, you will review a writing sample as a class to consider strengths and areas for improvement related to using language to create cohesion and clarify relationships among ideas. Direct students to read the two body paragraphs of the essay on the sample essay: body paragraphs handout with a partner and discuss the questions on the slide. After approximately 5 minutes, engage students in a whole-class discussion on the following questions: “Which paragraph is stronger at using language to create cohesion and clarify relationships among ideas?” “Why? What does the writer do to accomplish this?” Use teacher talk moves so students [clearly express their ideas (Goal One), listen carefully to understand others’ ideas (Goal Two), provide evidence to support their claims (Goal Three), establish new ways of thinking (Goal Four)]. Possible Supports During the Lesson: As needed, provide a brief mini-lesson to explain how language creates cohesion and clarity among ideas. Student Look Fors: Students should read the sample paragraphs and discuss the question on the slide. In discussion, students should note: Paragraph 1 is stronger because the author includes enough context to clearly explain the incident and situation. The author also uses transitions and words/phrases to help show how the ideas are connected. For example, the sentences that include the explanation of the evidence both connect the reader back to the context (e.g., Hal does not know what he is doing and thus overpacks for the journey), and makes a connection between two different ideas with the word “similarly” to show how his treatment of the animals and humans are similar.

Just as Hal's treatment of the dogs demonstrates his cruel and arrogant character, John Thornton's treatment of the dogs shows that he is a noble, compassionate person. Buck first meets John Thornton when he steps in to save him from Hal's mistreatment. When Hal tries to whip Buck for not moving onto unsafe ice, John Thornton steps in to protect Buck. These actions demonstrate that he is willing to stick up for animals who are in danger, even if this means getting in the way of another person. He did not need to step in to save Buck as he had no connection or relationship with him, but he chose to do so because it was the right thing to do. Let’s Discuss! Teaching Notes Suggested Pacing: ~5 minutes Directions: Show students how you would revise the paragraph to create cohesion and clarify relationships: Read the first part of the revised paragraph #2 on the slide aloud for students. Then, direct students to think independently about how the revisions (in bold) create more cohesion. After 2 minutes, engage in a whole-class discussion to ensure students understand the impact of the revisions. Use teacher talk moves so students [clearly express their ideas (Goal One), listen carefully to understand others’ ideas (Goal Two), provide evidence to support their claims (Goal Three), establish new ways of thinking (Goal Four)]. Student Look Fors: Students should discuss the revised paragraph and note things like: The first sentence makes a connection between the way in which both Hal and Thornton can be judged by how they treat the dogs. This connects the ideas from paragraph 1 to paragraph 2 and helps the reader see a link between the body paragraphs. The third sentence is revised from a compound sentence to a complex sentence. The addition of “when” at the front provides a smoother transition and provide clarity about the order of events being described. The paragraph also includes additional context, to help the reader understand the context behind the incident. This allows the explanation to have more depth, because the reader can better understand why Thornton’s actions are noble given he steps in and saves Buck from being whipped.

What suggestions do you have for your partner? Share your draft essay with a partner to give and receive peer feedback. Where do you see opportunities to strengthen connections and relationships between ideas? What suggestions do you have for your partner? Let’s Practice! Teaching Notes Suggested Pacing: ~10 minutes Directions: Divide the class into pairs using an established classroom routine. Purposefully pair together students with similar claim statements. Establish norms for the group work and explain that students will be held accountable for their learning by providing feedback to their partners about how to strengthen connections and relationships between ideas. Direct students to exchange their draft essay with a partner and review the essay to give peer feedback related to the questions on the slide. As students work together, prompt them to use the conversation stems learning tool. Conclude the group work by asking pairs to share their feedback with their partner. Possible Supports During the Lesson: If students need support to provide peer feedback: Ask: “What strengths do you see in how the writer connects ideas? Why?” Ask: “Where do you have suggestions for how the writer can further clarify and explain relationships between ideas? How might they do this?” Ask: “What transitions does your partner use? Are there places where more transitions could be added?” Ask: “Look at the sentence variety in the writing. Are they all one kind of sentence? Are the sentences all one length (short or long)? How could your partner combine or split up sentences to create more cohesion or clarity among ideas?” Student Look Fors: Students should read and jot feedback for their peer.

Review your partner’s feedback and make revisions to your essay. Let’s Express Our Understanding! Teaching Notes Suggested Pacing: ~10 minutes Directions: Direct students to review the feedback from their partner and use the feedback to focus their revisions on their essay. Monitor student work time, providing additional support to students as needed. Student Look Fors: Students should review the peer feedback and make revisions.

In this lesson, you considered what London conveys about human treatment of animals. You also reviewed an example essay against, exchanged peer feedback, and revised your essay. Let’s Close! Teaching Notes Suggested Pacing: ~1 minute Directions: Read the slide.