Confident Communication On The spot!

ON THE SPOT– what do we do? Interactive class… everyone in here will be invited up to speak for just 2-3 minutes on an assigned topic… Good conversation is at the heart of EVERYTHING networking, meetings, interviews, negotiations and raising your profile. Make work easy, make work hard = drama build alliances, create strong relationships with staff, bosses and clients, succeed at interviews, motivate and inspire. But conversation is something most of us were never taught! We learn to speak as babies, but how conversation actually works is something most of us pick up only haphazardly, and many have yet to learn. Internet research – “how to act confident” stand up straight look them in the eye Speak clearlyl Some degree of “Fake it till you make it…” But what if we learned some of the skills for how to BE confident instead of ACTING confident

Trust in our own skills & Self-Efficacy TRUST IN OURSELVES What is CONFIDENCE? Trust in our own skills & Self-Efficacy TRUST IN OURSELVES At its root, confidence is a trust in your own skills and abilities but more, it is a cousin to self-efficacy that is really derived from having trust that not matter what you’re faced with, you’ll figure out a solution. The behaviors that demonstrate true confidence can be improved and practiced over time. No one is missing “confidence” – but sometimes we need a bit of a map to help us find it.

Why is it important? “By acting confident, you can influence how others perceive you, and you can change how you feel about yourself.” ~Jennifer Allyn, PwC “By BEING confident, you can influence how you feel about yourself and others will perceive you as confident more naturally and organically.” ~Theresa French, FocusWorks Training & Development

HOW DO WE INTERRUPT THE CYCLE… how do we keep it from spinning out of control IT STARTS WITH US

Considerations of Confident Communication It’s not about you You’re not a sponge Evaluate what’s at stake and prioritize Vocalization is not truth Preoccupation is an enemy Know what’s yours to own and what’s not Know your own thoughts and impressions-- beliefs

3 P’s of Confident Communication Principle Perspective (em)Power IT starts with us

“It’s the Principle of the Matter” Examine your beliefs The “shoulds” of life Experiences Sacrifice / Contribution BUT SOMETIMES WE GET HUNG UP… on principal White dress before Easter and not before Texting during dinner is “not right” – no texting at the dinner table rule What we find at the end of principle has been shaped by our beliefs Shoulds, woulds, coulds EXPERIENCES: WHAT HAS BEEN DONE TO US SACRIFICE: WHAT WE HAVE DONE FOR OTHERS (sacrifice / contribution)

“Walk a Mile in Their Shoes” Listening as a form of communication Listening to understand Nuances- what’s said between the words Observe the things they choose to talk about Paraverbal and Nonverbal communication Repeating back – affirming what they just said – checking in Nuances: what might be an underlying meaning under or behind the words Observe: negative, positive, small minded, concepts, blue sky Paraverbal : not what we say, how we say it

(em)POWER Responding VS Reacting Yes And to move the conversation forward Boundaries Response vs Reaction – YES AND – move conversation forward BOUNDARies -- KNOW where yours are and ask where theirs are

ACTIVITY Two Ears – One Mouth For a REASON! Effective listenting requires an understanding that it is not just the speake’s responsibility to make sure he/she is understood…

What did we learn? What did you have to do to make this work? Did your conversation make sense? Without any judgement, did anyone try to end on an easy or tough word? How did this exercise show the importance of not immediately responding What things do we miss if we don’t listen to the end?