The Meltdown “Recipe” Helping the child process through emotions and achieve a regulated response Do not use or distribute without written permission.

Daniel Siegel Hand Model Do not use or distribute without written permission.

Being Prepared Assist and work with your child to identify a space in your home that could become a “safe spot” for him/her.  Choose with the child a few comfort items for this safe space It is very important that the child recognizes this spot with a positive attitude to influence potential calmness in his system The child may choose to access this safe spot whenever he/she likes Do not use or distribute without written permission.

A potential or full-blown meltdown Whatever the trigger the parent recognizes that the child is escalating into a meltdown or simply quickly boiled over into a major meltdown.  Only one parent / caregiver, steps in to deal with it at this time As soon as possible request the child in question to go to his/her safe spot. It is very important to maintain as neutral a voice as possible and too use minimal language. Expect the child to fight this “change” in the beginning, as he/she will be uncertain of the consequences and uncertainty raises anxiety Do not use or distribute without written permission.

At the “Safe Spot” Once at the safe spot request the child to stay in the spot until he or she is “ready”. The only other words you use is assuring them that you will stay with them until they are ready. The caregiver does not say “it will be OK” or tries to take the emotion away from the child and deals with it for them The caregiver sits down with the child and does not touch, unless child wants to get away from the safe spot. Do not use or distribute without written permission.

Consider This All the time during these steps, this is not the time to use logic or try to reason, the emphasis is on the body and regulating the body to a point of registering calmness. In the beginning some kids would state that they are “ready” before they are actually ready. In a way it is another test of your boundaries with them. Also remember that if you are inconsistent in this application and do not see it through each time, you may be contributing to the child’s anxiety as they would not know what to expect. Do not use or distribute without written permission.

More to Consider Some families like to start the method over a weekend where they have nothing else planned. They get in as many repetitions as they can, which supports the learning curve for the week to follow. Many families ask what happens when this occurs when you are not home and not close to your safe spot. Best is to have this practiced at home first before venturing into public. Do not use or distribute without written permission.

After Calming Once you and the child feels that the body is calmed down, it is important that you take them right back to the situation that caused the escalation in the first place. While you were sitting with him, you might do a quick task analysis of what the task expectation was and you might figure out that the demands may have been too high for them, too many steps or such like. It is very important that the child does not equate the safe spot as “getting away” from a task or use it for task avoidance. Do not use or distribute without written permission.

More on that If it was a sibling or peer issue and apologies are warranted, then model the apology for the child to follow, also adding the reason and not simply “sorry” if you can, though in the beginning this may be as good as you get. At no time during this phase do you extend any logic or reasoning, you stay close to the body and now the task completion. Once the child is successfully calmed down and has completed the task, you can give them a big hug and tell them you are proud of how they calmed down, mentioning the how of the body and also your pride in them for also completing the task. Do not use or distribute without written permission.

Final Step Some critics would question where is the discipline and where is the negative reward for bad behavior. What I would rather suggest that later that same evening, in a warm and cuddly parent-child moment, some discussion could be held with logic appropriate to the child’s age and stage of development. The child is now calm to take in more verbal narrative and caregiver can now say to the child that he/she was disappointed in their behavior on this day. Do not use or distribute without written permission.

Emotional Growth Reward It is very important that the child does not read the caregiver’s disappointment as him being “bad”, but affirms their love for the child through their affection, while not condoning the behavior. It is also possible now to discuss what would be negative consequences for their behavior for this incidence and / or future incidences. Do not use or distribute without written permission.

Tantrum Examples Video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8HgiuPISyJk Do not use or distribute without written permission.

https://maudeleroux.com/ Maude Le Roux, OTR/L, SIPT, IMC Websites https://maudeleroux.com/ www.atotalapproach.com Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ATAMaudeLerouxOT/ LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/company/a-total-approach Blog http://www.maude-leroux.com/