FROM SIGN-UP TO SHOW-UP REDUCING CAMP ANXIETY

Camper anxiety Past – “I know you’re nervous but it’ll be ok” Now – “If you’re nervous I’ll try to get you out of it!” Camper anxiety

Stress Strain or tension: physical mental emotional This is what breaks resilience But it’s also what BUILDS resilience Just like exercise

Good & Bad Stress Stress is to resilience as exercise is to muscle New Stimuli or unknown patterns cause stress Change leads to stress Unpredictable supports worsen Good & Bad Stress

Camp’s relationship to stress Camp must create GOOD stress – necessary for all the growth Discomfort is the norm Discomfort creates or worsens anxiety Teaches mad skills! Camp’s relationship to stress

3 obstacles to letting camp work Unsafe vs uncomfortable (happiness NOW) Not knowing where my kid is = neglect Desire to “protect” mental health 3 obstacles to letting camp work

hap·pi· ness: noun good fortune; pleasure; contentment; joy INGREDIENTS: Confidence Competence Relationships hap·pi· ness: noun

Happiness Now Trap Unattainable Conflicts with resilience Removes opportunity for resilience “practice” Causes us to change the narrative to support everything being ok Limits the resources we offer We’re terrible at predicting it for others

Comfort vs Discomfort Security Healing Identity Learning Change GROWTH

Unsafe vs Uncomfortable

Tracking Trap From “no news is good news” to “No news means something terrible has happened.” Parents who don’t track are brave Reframing from neglect to responsibility Camps are contributing to the problem with daily emails and online photos From No news is good news To No news means you’re obviously dead

Fear of Anxiety Trap Generalized Anxiety Disorder Interferes with acts of daily living Episodic but usually baseline symptoms Panic Attacks 10-30 minutes Hard to differentiate from pseudo-panic Specific Phobias Common Strategies are useful Feeling Anxious or Normal Anxiety Caused by discomfort Often protective

Culture of Successful Families Myth: “The more I help the better we will both feel” That’s only HALF true Truth? Failure must be experienced. Resilience requires practice Culture of Successful Families

WHAT’S THE SOLUTION? Trust Goal-sharing Expectation shaping

Trust Parents Campers Staff With everyone Who are you What have you been taught What concerns you Through investigation Ask for small buy-ins before big ones Remember gratitude Through microactions Trust

The solution: Goal sharing! Get to know your families beforehand as much as possible 1 Understand what they want 2 Find goals you share – the more proximal the better 3 Be able to explain how your path gets them to that goal 4

Warn them! Let them know that you expect parent and kid struggles This way they won’t feel like they made the wrong decision Put a plan in place before it happens Warn them!

Expectation shaping “When not if” language Gratitude for sharing the concern (model this!) Empathy for the struggle Connect to resources Offer solutions Expectation shaping

When-not- if Language Set Remove Model Set expectations Model the cycle Remove Remove the premise of failure Set Set expectations When-not- if Language

Words to use Gratitude Empathy Thanks for letting me know Grateful you’re comfortable discussing this Glad you and your child have this relationship Glad we have developed our relationship Empathy I hear that you’re feeling… I understand feeling…. I’ve felt… It’s hard to feel… Words to use

Strategies to suggest Have a list before this happens When you have this ready to send, parents believe that you expected this, you’ve seen it before, they’re not alone Testimonials Other experts Tools they can use when it flares up Strategies to suggest

Dr. G has digital resources YOU need for your families! Pick a time to talk to her about it! (click this!)